homesick, hormonal and a little bit hysteric!

yep, that was me last week.

A big thank you to Sarah@mummyinjapan for pointing out that I was homesick - you know, it never even registered to me that that was what was going on. I think it has been a long time since homesickness hit me so hard! I was ready to buy a plane ticket outta here (just for a break) but the summer holidays season is here, and well, we just can't afford a trip home when it costs K almost as much as me, because we have to pay the surcharge for her, even though she doesn't have a seat (wtf!! that is utter crap, but what can you do?).

A big thank you to M-san and Akazukin for your comments too. Everything said really helped put things in perspective for me. M-san, yep, it can be stressful sometimes. I guess I usually don't let things get to me so much, but sometimes, aaaarrrrggghhh!! And I know that at least the attention we get here is generally good attention, not like I imagine a lot of people have experienced in the US or Australia etc with racism just be cause you are Japanese (were you ever told "go home china-man?", or someone would say "They really should speak English now they are in Australia/US/..." when you speak Japanese with your kids) It makes me sick when I hear people talking like this, especially after living here and knowing how hard life away from "home" is. Akazukin - K does the same thing on trains, especially trying to get attention from young college girls or old ladies, waiting until they say "kawaii" then pulling out all the tricks: peek-a-boo, "ito-maki-maki" etc, lol. I am sure they think the same about me too "poor baby, with such a grumpy mother" lol!!

Yes, I think that my hormones were on full-blast after nearly a 2 year absence!! Guess they had some "making up" to do. Hoping things settle down a bit next month, if not, I hope that I will recognise it when the tears well in my eyes over being asked to move out of the way while packing my shopping bag at local supermarket because some old lady is trying to get to the little plastic bags they have to put your tofu etc in!

anyway, I *may* have had a bit of a hysteric break down on the weekend, when the thing that topped it all off was having friends over, and me having to look after not only K, but one of their kid as well while everyone else was chatting/eating/generally being merry. I would like to get away from it all sometimes too, but no-one to look after K for me. J is pretty hopeless when it comes to that. the last time I asked him to look after K while I went out for lunch, he ended up saying that he would come along too, which of course meant that I had to watch K during lunch!! lol. Typical male!?! lol!

But I feel much better having gotten it "out there". Normally, I would keep it to myself, but by actually saying it (and writing it here) and talking with friends, I think it has helped me to realise that I need to be in control myself. And that everyone has moments like this, so thank you again!

Things are better this week. I had an early night last night and now we are just lazing around at home today, taking it easy, me eating nearly all the Aussie chocolate biscuits (Arnotts Caramel Crowns!) that a friend got me from her recent holiday to Aus. Gee they are yummy! At this rate, there will be none left for J, oops! I wonder if i can blame *that* on the hormones too?? lol.