and now...

I have a stuffy and runny nose, headache (going on all week), sore throat.....grrrrrrrreat. Can't work out if it is a cold, or allergies, or both.

J is out picking up my parents - they are going to be put to good use tomorrow, I think I will be sleeping all day...

at least TJ-baby is still on the inside at this stage ;-)

no stress today

I was waiting an hr again for the 1(wtf?) moniter in the clinic for my turn at the non stress test..... This surely only adds to my stress levels aargh.
Actually, it turned out there are more moniters up in LDR etc, but this morning was another rush of women with contractions so all the monitors (and places to put them) they had were being used up. Fair enough- I can understand being bumped for a women about to pop, but come on - why only keep one monitor down in the clinic part??

(If you haven't guessed, my clinic is starting to piss me off. Lots of little things. Am already regretting my decision to choose this place, but of course nothing I can do now. And I remember being shitted off with the hosp. I gave birth to K at in the lead up for various reasons, but of course after the birth, I was all love-love for the hosp, as they nurses esp. who take care of you after birth were just so lovely and helpful. Am hoping this clinic can redeem itself in the same way. Although I am tempted to write a report in benesse womens' park about some of the things I haven't been so impressed with, lol)

So I finally got hooked up - sat in a massage chair in the nurses lounge, no less, as they seriously had no where else for me, so it was nice that they went to the trouble to set the machine up for me I guess - at about 9:40, and was on for 20-odd mins. Nurse hooking me up commented "gee, your baby is down low, isn't it" as she put the monitor clips basically on my v-doobies, lol. The monitor clips were in a dfferent place yesterday - and I have to say that since yesterday afternoon, I have felt "lighter" and more mobile all of a sudden - yikes!

So pretty much I am the same - hardened tummy 99% of the time on the machine, but this time TJ-baby is strong and doesn't react to the stress, so am told all is ok, and make an apt for next Tues, when I am officially 37w.

Feeling a bit better and a bit less stressed myself with the results from today too.

BRIEF stop at shop to buy bread for lunch (after 11am as we leave docs) and some futon covers for my parent's make-shift bedroom, collect money from bank and go directly to jail, uh, I mean back home to skype mum to say I am ok, then into bed with K for a marathon nap of about 3hours!!! I am still half asleep. Lucky have enough leftovers for side dishes to go with our pork chops for dinner, but haven't put rice on as J has been coming home a bit early, and he gets pooey if the rice hasn't been sitting for long enough before cooking it, so figure he can have microwave rice for dinner tonight ;-)

Finally tomorrow we have a day at home to hopefully catch up a bit (nothing over the top) with some cleaning and organising, with lots of breaks in between. Would be great if I had a go-go-gadget arm so I could do dust/vacuum/cook all without having to get my lard arse off the sofa haha.

35w6d

Check up yesterday morning. (my ticker up the top is a bit out of whack)

Was told I had a 9:30-10am apt, but to be there by 9:10am to be strapped up for non-stress test. I was THE FIRST person there at 8:44am.

10:10am and still haven't been called. Have seen at least 3 others go in for the nst, not to mention several dozen being called in for checks.

I think they forgot me as I was miraculously called about 5mins after I asked what was going on (they were all apologies, someone started having contractions while on the monitor, so they were backed up yaddi-yaddah.)

Weight gain in last 2 weeks: MINUS 200g (not really sure how that happened, esp as we made a costco run in the mean time and I have maybe, possibly snuck a few cookies and muffins in :-)

Ultrasound (external) shows TJ-baby has:

the head of a 39w old

the bone length (femur length I think)of a 37w5d old

the weight of a 37w old at 2907g

Overall, Tj-baby is a big one (I take this with a bit of a grain of salt, as K was told this whole time too, but anyways...) Doc seems a bit apprehensive over TJ-baby's size, and once again states that he thinks we will probably go into labour early.....

Get some meds for the GBS, and once again am told about having to have the antibiotics once labour starts.

More important is the results from non-stress-test. Apparently we are stressed. Well, obviously I am, but more specifically, lots of braxton hicks (nurse: "your stomach is like, constantly hard") are putting real stress on TJ-baby.

Given meds to try to calm down the 張る-ing, told to at least keep TJ-baby on the inside until I reach "full term" at 37w, a.k.a next Tuesday, and told to come back for more monitoring on Wed morning....but while waiting in lobby to pay bills, nurse runs up and says, "actually, doc wants you to come back tomorrow morning".

So have been awake since 4am this morning, stressing, can't sleep as it felt like my tummy was preparing to be thrown down a bowling alley (am sure I would have got a strike with a tummy this hard) and then spending an hour counting baby movements (they do seem to have slowed down the last few days, but thankfully despite the first 20mins or so of nothing but hardened abs, I started feeling hiccups, then kicks, so yay for that at least). At nearly 6am I decided I wouldn't be getting back to sleep, so came down for a cuppa and some breakfast so I can take my tablets, and so we can get out of the house at 8am to be there for an even earlier apt (8:40am) this morning with the nst monitor.

Decided I would spend the next week on the sofa, esp until my parents get here Wed (tomorrow) night - anything to keep baby in!! But first had to stop by toys'r'us to check if they had any Dora party goods as it is K's 3rd birthday on Fri, and want to make her a dolly-bardon type cake. (got a fab dora figurine - just hope I get to make the cake :-)

Came home with the intention of doing nothing (but remembered I have no baby clothes washed, no hospital bag packed, no dosh prepared to pay for hospital bills upfront etc etc so after a nap with K, I started trying to slowly get stuff prepared. Still have more to do today (SLOWLY) so hope I get to come home from docs to do it.

And I haven't even started on the R-situation last week that had me so super stressed out..... briefly, last Wed (March 24th), she jumped out of her cage/house/circle (it has a mesh roof that is attached around the edges with push-stud type buttons, which she managed to undo) and got into the esky by the fridge which still had a few of those freezer gel packs in it. She ate 4 of them. Vets visit in afternoon, hours of googling and ringing gel-pack makers to confirm that gel-packs DO NOT contain anti-freeze (ethyle glycol, while slightly toxic in humans is basically deadly for cats and dogs, causing kidney failure - I seriously spent all day/several days last week thinking R would die), R throws up during my night-time vigil so I take her to doggy ER, where they treat her like a poisons victim, getting all the foreign matter out. Careful watching of her for next 3 days, more trips to vet - turns out the toxins have caused some damage to her liver, so she is now on liver-treatment pills. Still not 100%, but thankfully getting there.

No wonder my head has been throbbing since last week with all these things to stress over....

33week check-up day in review and getting ready for TJ-baby

A week ago, we had another TJ-baby check-up (33weeks).

Of course on days when we need to be out of the house early, K sleeps in. I could NOT budge her,and it was already past 8am! I had a 9am appointment (well, 9-9:30am枠） at the docs, so really needed to get out of the house by 8:20am, as I like to get there early 1) to get a carpark and 2) so that i can be one of the first ones they see. But K was out to it. Managed to tickle her into awakeness, but still it was a matter of running out the door, and handing her her breakfast in the car, haha.

The docs were pretty crowded, so we didn't get seen to until a bit after 9:30am, oh well. I was also a bit late arriving after taking the back roads (going round in circles on them) to try to find a short cut, and ending up it being a long cut as I came out on the main road that is super traffic jammed most times of the day. If only I could find the back street that comes out at the best position on the main road (I can see it from the main road, but just can't find it from the back streets) I could cut 15mins off a morning trip to the doctors (it only takes 10-15mins max at other times of the day.....)

There was also a bit of commotion in the waiting room - a newborn was packed up in a humicrib and being taken away by ambulance, I guess to the big hospital.The mum was crying right there, and it got me all choked up too. I really had to fight back the tears. (why am I the only hormonal pregnant woman in the place?? everyone else was super cool about it all)

Got to the other nice doctor, well, the one that always tells me to watch my weight. Fair enough, have packed on a bit again. Am now sitting at about 12-13kg weight gain. This is what I was when K was born. Also baby is at about 2500g, which is what K was when she was born.......yikes.

I had an internal, and the doc asked if I was having hardening of the stomach（張ってる）to which I replied "oh yes" and he was kinda concerned...asked me how many times an hour, to which I replied that I don't think it comes every hour, more like several times a day, but of course after I came home, my belly was hard as a rock for most of the rest of the day. So I started getting stressed, and the more I stressed, the more it seemd to 張ってくる. Seems better today though, so think it was more stress related, but am gonna keep an eye on that.

I got to ask my questions, esp about GBS, and he was very calm and non-worried, simply stating that yes we will need to have a drip at the first signs of labour, and that having it does not necessarily mean that I will pass it on to TJ-baby. But he does think that labour will be quick (as in, from the time it starts) and that I will probably go early, hopefully not pre-term, but when I mentioned that J will be away the start of April, he was like, that is probably when something will happen then (kind of said in the ironic sense, but I also think he was kinda being serious too). He told me to get to hospital as soon as I feel contractions even 15mins apart, esp so that the antibiotics can be administered by drip. This is where I am still concerned because last time my waters broke, and I never even felt contractions until I was in the transition phase (basically) and they were coming 2-3mins apart. I guess I am just getting nervous about giving birth, and not knowing what to expect - so it it seems that even being a 2nd birth, I am still clueless lol!!

Also my other big worry was what am I gonna do if it does happen while I am here alone. My parents were supposed to get in April 10th, but J leaves before then (not sure when) and while I can call my PIL, they are an hour away. It is so much stress just thinking about what I can do with K.

(I deleted a long section here with me freaking out about the logistics of them coming, what we are gonna do with K etc, as I had a talk to them on skype and I got all upset, so they actually went about changing their ticket to a week earlier.....end result - they are coming MARCH 31st!! I am so relieved! At least when J is away, I won't be alone now.)

Otherwise, TJ-baby is doing good, very active still, making my stomach look like a set for "alien" movie re-runs with all the poking, prodding and kicking from the inside.

J went for his 父親学級 (dad's class) at the clinic on Saturday, so now he is able to be there for the birth, if he is HERE for the birth of course. Next check up is March 29th, and apparently this time they will be strapping me up for 20mins before the check (I am guessing that means the stress-test thingy, which I never actually did with K). I bet it is just another way for them to charge me more money....did I MENTION that I got a bill for when I rang them up for a "phone consult" (apparently) - in my mind I was checking something that the doctor forgot to tell me, so am a bit peeved that they even charged me for it (only 710yen or something, but totally not the point).

Finally, this last 2weeks or so I have really felt that I am pregnant, being able to now tick off the following traits:

penguin-like waddle when walking

constant trips to the bathroom, day and night (the night time bathroom runs have just begun, somehow I managed to avoid this for 2tris!! but now I am spending more time in the toilet at night than bed, lol)

constant use of the word "よいしょ" , "よし” and general grunting when getting up off seats, out of car, climbing stairs etc

given up running after K most of the time, just letting her do as she pleases in shops etc (truthfully, I couldn't catch her even if I tried ;))

getting tired from going out (ok, this has been around for a while, but even just sitting in the car for extended periods of time these days wears me out)

needing to lie down rather than just sit down to relax, as sitting tends to just put too much pressure down low, making it rather uncomfortable

taking off my wedding rings (mainly due to peer pressure from the nurse at the clinic.... I haven't had any swelling at all, but I can't be bothered listening to the same rant every time now for the next few weeks. Put rings in with my engagement ring box - better document it in case I forget and freak out post-partum about not being able to find them!)

wearing tunics and leggings

and we even set up the cot this long weekend (in the playroom, but I figure it is the best place for it at the moment, as I can store nappies and the bath underneath it, and use as a nappy changing table and for naps during the day), and got the nappy bin out ready too. Even dropped in to city hall to check what needs to be done to register baby's birth (wasn't sure as now koseki and jyuminhyo are in different cities, but can register birth here where we live!). Tomorrow I am going out to buy nappies while they are still on sale, and a friend has offered me an old maya sling to use (already have a baby bjorn and the ergo for later on, but wanted a material sling to try this time), so I am feeling kinda like I am starting to get ready for TJ-baby now! Getting excited! Now, if only we could work on that name list......

now I am really loosing it

Just realised that I am now posting my recipes and daily dinners here rather than on my food blog.

ooops.

Sorry for the boring interlude of "we ate this". Will return to regular programming soon with the post about my 33week check up that has been sitting as a draft all week.....

hoto nabe-slash-煮込み udon

Have one packet of hoto noodles left, and a pumpkin....so it is a hot nabe night. Also gets to use up the last of the CABBAGE!!!! (no more caplocks for a while I hope, haha). But since only one packet of hoto noodles, have to beef the nabe up with regular udon. Am just waiting for the call from J to say he is on his way home to get everything 煮込む-ing. K will prob have to have regular udon noodles first, esp if I don't hear from J in the next 5 mins or so, means he will be later than 7 so better give the kid some food before she eats her arm off.

******************
I think I have done pretty well with clearing out the freezer recently for a costco run this weekend.....I am actually hoping to buy up big in the meat lines, so that I don't have to be running off to the shop so often searching out meats for the next few months - J can get pretty good veges at the supermarket at his train station on way home from work, but looking for good meat can mean a bit of a run around, so I figure if I can cut at least one thing off the list it is gonna help for the last few weeks of pregnancy, and when TJ-baby arrives. Also with my parents arriving soon, I want to have some stuff readily available. I have asked (begged) J to bring up the deep freezer from his parent's house (they don't use it) so we can shove it in K's playroom and fill it up with all sorts of goodies - hoping to do that this weekend before we hit costcos! yay!

like a bat out of hell

Tonight's main was meatloaf.

ALthough we always buy a lot of mince from Costcos when we go, I only ever seem to use it for lasagna or spag. bols. Sometimes J will make "hamburg".

I haven't made rissoles for years, literally, but since our rice was arriving late afternoon, I thought tonight might be a good time to do it. BUT I changed my mind in the end since the idea of meatloaf just sounded so much easier, and I could use the oven for a cauliflower cheese bake while I was at it too.

So dinner was:

meatloaf (with carrot, CABBAGE and NO onion, since I didn't have any)
~400g mince
1 (J size)cup パン粉
1 (J size)cup milk
1 carrot, grated
1/8th (?) cabbage, shredded and chopped up finely
1 M-size egg
s+P
1-2tbs worstershire sauce

Baked in 170deg oven for 75mins (covered with alfoil for last 20 mins or so to prevent burning)

cauliflower bake
This ended up being a mish-mash of veges:
1 head cauliflower (cheap at the supermarket for once, so had to buy it!)
1/2 head brocolli
handful of frozen veges (thrown in at last minute for some added nutritional value, haha)
leftovers of cabbage soup from last night, heated up with some cheese to make the sauce.

Threw all veges into the sauce, mixed it up and put in oven dish, sprinkled with パン粉 and parmesan cheese, and baked in oven for 20mins.

served with boiled potatoes.

I was happy!!! And even J said it did taste good, but I can tell he was not overly rapped in it. Oh well, this is the the man who asked me if tonight's dinner was using the new rice when he rang on his way home - like I can carry a 10kg box of rice up a set of stairs to the kitchen .... did I MENTION I was 34weeks pregnant? lol, and that the rice was arriving sometime between 4pm and 6pm (ok, it got here not long after 4pm, but that is not the point) surely he can wait ONE DAY for rice!!!!

and so, of course, now....

....I can't sleep.

I have been awake since before 4am.
finally decided to cut my losses, and come sit down under the kotatsu with a cuppa.

this is so typical.

*sigh*



.....and now, not even 20mins after getting up (and having been awake in bed for nearly an hour and a half) I am tired and wanting to crawl back into bed.

Make up your mind, already!!!
(Lucky I went for the decaf tea...might try the zzz's one more time.....)

from refreshed to frazzled in the blink of an eye

So I just sat around all day yesterday afternoon.
And went to be at 8pm.
And slept in until after 8am, maybe close to 8:30am.
And then sat around all morning.
And I actually felt a lot better this morning.

Better enough (nice command of Eng lang. there) to even do some housework before making a yummy vege and tuna bake for lunch. Better enough to even head out of the house after lunch for a walk, not just around the block with R, but down to the shop the other side of the main road to get some juice and stuff.

All was going well until about 10m from our front door, when K started complaining. I asked her if she wanted to go for a long walk to the shop, or just a short walk - she wanted to go the long walk. So we continued. And she continued. It was only mild whining, so we dealt with it, but by the time we got to the traffic lights, she packed a sad and said she wouldn't hold my hand to cross the road.
So I said "if you don't hold my hand, we don't cross the road"...anyway, she held hands to cross the road, but then all of a sudden she packed a big tanty (80% on the tanty scale), saying she wanted to go home. So I said fine, we go home. We waited for the lights to change back again to cross over the road again, and in this time, she decided that she DID want to go shopping after all, but I had had it, and already said we were going home, so wasn't gonna relent then (she was about 90%tanty at this time). So we got back across the road, and she realised that there was not gonna be any shop today, so she went into escalated tanty mode (105% on the tanty scale), refusing to walk. I attempted reasoning with her (HA! reasoning with a toddler in mid tantrum) then decided our best thing to do was just get home, so I started dragging her home (holiding her hand, and later the arm of her jacket when she slipped her hand out. We are on the side of the main road at this stage). Anyways, things just went from bad to worse, and she started throwing herself down on the side road, doing the "prawn" making it near impossible to get her to stand up let alone walk. I managed a rugby hold for about 2 seconds before having to put her donw again, then just had to drag her home as she was now at about 150% on the tantrum scale and I just had to get her home to a safe place as I couldn't control her on the street, and her curdling screams were starting to get the neighbours looking out windows and shaking their heads at the horrible foreign mummy making kid cry. I was also sweating profusely by this stage and totally frazzled out with the whole thing. I swear getting her from the lights back home, about a 6min walk usually was the longest 20+mins of my recent life!!!

We got home, and cuddled up in bed, there were apologies and then a nap for 2hours, so I a not sure what set it off, but we have at least woken up on the right side of the bed this afternoon, and are now enjoying some afternoon tea and cake. And, despite now having a bit of おなかが張ってる, I am feeling 80% refreshed again. Which is good, because after talking to my sister on skype last night, she promptly rang up mum and told her that they should come over earlier since I was totally washed up at the moment, haha. (I WAS very tired when talking to her, and it must have really shown!!!)

I hope we can get out of the house tomorrow without incident to get to playgroup - last week we had a 10min interlude on the train when she nutted out and I just sat there through it, sucking up the looks from all the old fogies on the pretty packed train. *sigh* the joys, right!?

3rd tri fatigue

I just can't seem to find any energy these days.

It is almost hard to believe that pregnancy fatigue could come back with such a vengance and be WORSE than 1st trimester fatigue. I guess at this stage, I am also sporting an extra 10, 11, 12kilos - most likely more?? (haven't jumped on the scales recently, too scary) which is not helping. Getting up from any kind of sitting position is a major task.

I feel sorry for K, but I have been a crabby, snappy, tired, and easily annoyed basketcase (more than usual anyway) for the last few days. I put it down mainly to over-doing myself by going to a wedding on the weekend, having PIL over for the weekend (to look after K while we were at the wedding, but we (I) still had to look after them when I got home and the next day since they stayed over), and then planning a morning tea-playdate for the following day. I am buggered.

After our friends left yesterday, both K and I went down for a lovely nap, then hit the sack early last night to sleep in til the lovely time of 9am this morning. Yep, 9AM!!!!!! You would think that would get me back on track, but I was yawning again by midday, and had to lie down with K at 1pm for a nap (which I had, but she didn't, oh well, at least she was VERY VERY good and just lay there in bed with me (me thinks) reading and tearing up tissues while I was passed out, haha! )

But I still feel like crap, tired and have a headache now too. Considering that K didn't actually nap today, we can probably get her down to sleep early tonight, so I might just have to join her, at like 8pm! I know that sleeping too much can sometimes have the opposite effect, but I am even yawning again as I type this, so figure it best to at least give it a chance again tonight in the hope that I am able to bounceback to somewhat human by Thursday for playroup.

And J is away again this week, so while I don't have to be making proper dinners, which helps, it also means that poor K is getting no active-rough-and-tumble-type play at all, since I am just too wasted to stand up half the time.

This tiredness sucks. The rain (currently SNOW here actually) and cold outside doesn't help either.

babble babble

Just me babbling.

thanks for the comments re the group b strep situation and my fears for impending "second motherhood" haha.

A quick check online, and it seems that indeed, the Daikuma down the road (the predecessor to "Donkey", and subsidery of Yamada denki) may well be the cheapest nappies around. I am still gonna have to check out a few drug stores around too, but so far the price seems good, and is current until March 24th, so I have a bit of time before I need to buy. I am not sure how many newborn nappies to buy....K was tiny, so even the "smaller than shinseiji" were being used on her, and the shinseiji for several months. But I have no idea how big TJ-baby will be, and don't want to overbuy newborn nappies. Also don't want to have to be out buying them every other day. I might even stock up on some S size nappies while I am at it.
I remember with K though, that some brands fitted her better than others, and at certain times/ages, some were more prone to give her nappy rash, or cause leakage etc. I am pretty sure we used Merries most of the time, then Pampers for s size when we could. But this time I am gonna maybe try out the "Goon" nappies just because of the great name.

Feeling a bit blah today. Didn't sleep so well (basically off and on until 2am, but think I did pass out for a while after that.) In any case I woke up with a super puffy face and it hasn't really improved yet, so I will be staying out of sight of others today I think. I had a list of things to do today, but am gonna flag the morning stuff, in the hope that I pick up after lunch. If not, there is always tomorrow, right...? Was already feeling yucky after dinner last night (tired and cranky) so figure it is better for everyone's happiness if I take it easy today and rest ;)

K has a bit of a cough and runny nose, so we may have to skip playgroup tomorrow, bummer. It has been lingering since the weekend, no fever thank goodness.

Today is mum's birthday - happy birthday mum!! I had a time of trying to order online flowers, using a site that I had used before. They state several things on their website, including delivery charges in Aus at 9.90, and that they will get back to you via email within 12hours if you have any questions etc, and if you sign in you get 5% discount...well, when I went to the checkout, th delivery charge came up at 12.95, so I tried to email them about it, but over 50hours later and I still haven't heard back from them. Also there was no where to actually sign in to be able to get the discount. I sent them 3 emails in the end, still waiting to hear back from them. I know, it is not a lot of money involved, but it is really the principle of the thing - they say one thing on their site, but don't follow through with it. I almost gave up and went through another site to order the flowers, but ttytt, they are super cheap for the exact same bunch of flowers, and when I did order them last night at 10pm or so, they got delivered to mum's this morning at 9am!! now that IS good service!!!!! And the lilies were buds, so she gets to enjoy them longer. Mum seemed happy with them, so that is all that counts.

Today is also 17years since my granny was buried (yep, on mum's birthday). She passed away 17years ago on Sunday. It really doesn't feel like that long. I had a lot to do with Granny growing up, as she spent half of most years at our house (the winter months). We used to play card games like Euka, and after we had been out in the car, as we drove into the driveway she always used to say "We're home because we're home".

there have been helicopters flying overhead all day today, from about 7:30am this morning. I think we must be in the american base flight path (we are under the path as the crow flies between 2 base now I think about it). It is getting annoying though. This is not a daily occurance by any means, but it has been happening more recently. I wonder if I could put in an order for some foreign goodies to be dropped off next time they fly over in exchange for putting up with the annoying helicopter sound all day??

I am yawning as I write this, so gonna stop babbling and just relax for a bit.

Group B stress

(sigh)
Friday's checkup revealed I have GBS. Not only does it make me feel like a filthy whore (yes, I know it is common, and not a "disease", and present in something like 30% of women, but when you have to use the word "baikin" to describe it, well, it makes it sound so ugly) but now I am also freaking out over the possibilities of passing it on to TJ-baby during labour, and what problems that might mean for TJ-baby. The doc on Fri was the not-so-friendly one - as in he was cracking up at the nurse about why I had already had the test for GBS at 29weeks, when they usually do it at 30weeks or something (like come on!!) and telling HER (not me) that they can always just put me on an antibiotic drip for labour while I was lying on the bed half naked waiting for said nurse to wipe my belly after the ultrasound. It really didn't put me much at ease, and in fact in the doctors office, I really didn't understand what the problem was, except for the throwing around of the word "baikin", but I came home and looked over the latest test results shoved in my boshitecho, and that is when I realised it was GBS.

Got no sleep on Friday night after an internet search and several horror stories later....I guess *my* biggest fear at the moment is that my labour time with K was pretty quick, although I was in hospital from the night before after my waters broke, from the time contractions started until K was born was only about 6hours. And they say that the second baby is often faster even, right...what if there is not enough time for the antibiotic drip to work (I think it needs to be in for 4 hours before labour to have any affect in reducing GBS passover to baby)?? And there was also some stuff about GBS causing premature birth. K was 2weeks early, and while I know that it is not necessarily true that TJ-baby will be early simply because of that, I am still worried about it all. My parents get in April 10th. J leaves for Paris (business trip) April 11th (maybe 10th, still to be confirmed aarrgh!) and is gone for a week or so.

Add to all of this, my feelings of utter lack of preparedness (is that a word? it checks up on the spellchecker, lol) for the impending arrival - I have done ziltch: no baby clothes washed (they haven't even been pulled out of storage, gotta try to think where they where put in the move!) obviously no hospital bag packed (although I don't really need anything except my boshitecho as the clinic provides clothes and other stuff), just now typing this I realise I haven't a clue where the baby bath is either.....About the only thing I have done, is over the weekend while out I started looking at nappies at places, trying to suss out the cheapest place to buy them, but that is the extent of my preparations (didn't buy any nappies yet,lol)

I seriously think I feel more nervous this time around.
Less prepared.
More scared.

Maybe it is because I kinda KNOW what is gonna hit me (where as with K I had NO IDEA) and maybe it is because I am now starting to think how the hell am I gonna get through every day with a newborn to look after AND get ANYTHING else in the house done, including being able to be there for K, who is very self-sufficient, being able to play by herself a lot, but still, she has her demanding times too.

I hope it is just a case of performance anxiety.
Have set myself several tasks for this month to get ready, so hopefully that will alleviate my fears a bit once they are done.

To end on a positive note, I can't believe I am already 31weeks - this pregnancy is coming along fast, and I am excited about TJ-baby, while also dying to find out if it is a boy or girl....I have a feeling it is a girl, ttytt, not sure why. And TJ-baby continues to be more active than I remember K being, punching and kicking almost like an alarm clock every hour. TJ-baby also seems to like it when I read to K, and gets very active then (perhaps they think I am reading to them, lol!?)

Oh, and while not really a "positive" note, my cravings have changed yet again. I had umeboshi with rice a couple of nights ago, and it was SOOOOO average. Such a change from just a week ago when I was eating 3,4,5 umeboshi at a sitting, and loving it lol. Not sure what my cravings have changed into - maybe bread again? (The herb bread I made yesteday definately hit the spot!!) As always chocolate is on the list - oreos YUM!!! Now THAT is a positive note to finish on for sure!!!!!