39d1w

10am apt today, had to be there 20mins before hand to have the monitor on to check baby's hearbeat. It was dropping a few times when I had braxton-hicks so they kept me on for another 20mins or so....not very good, but not super-worrying it seems as I am home again and don't have any particular warnings from the docs or anything.

Doc again surprised to see me - when I got up on the chair for the internal, he said "let's shake this baby up a bit" (じゃちょっと刺激しようっか？but I promptly told him to keep his shakin' to himself - as J is still in Paris and we don't need baby to be coming anytime yet....

Doc said I am 3cm, and effacing (not sure what %, they are not so good on telling numerical values, and I always forget to ask again when I get out of THE CHAIR.)
He reckons I will go in the next few days (but, I remind myself that he has told me this AT EVERY SINGLE APT SINCE WEEK 36!!!). Nurse reckons that I will go tomorrow or so, since there is a low pressure system coming (!! I had heard about the full moon bringing all the babies out, but this was the first time to hear about a low pressure system having the same effect, lol). Nothing else to report, really, just had it drummed in to me again to get to the hosp as soon as I get contractions 15mins apart, as it will all move along quickly this time.

So flights have resumed out of Paris, YAY. But now of course we have the secondary (although probably bigger) problem that unless ANA puts on special flights for those stranded, J will have to wait his turn, along with thousands of others, until there is a spare seat on a plane (i.e. they won't bump passengers who are supposed to fly today for e.g. to put waiting passengers on instead) so it may still be several days before he gets home. SIGH. Pissing me off a bit now - I think I have been pretty calm about it until now, all things considered, and yes I know it is not like it is anyone's fault, but I just get pissed off when I see people on tv news who have been waiting for a whole 2 days get on a flight....NOT FAIR! I just want him home!!!!! And it doesn't help either hearing about other people who went via Spain or Portugal or Moscow or Sydney or the fricken moon or whatever to get home. And still J and his bosses sit in their little hotel room in Paris waiting for ANA to contact them and tell them they have a seat on a plane...... It would just be nice for it all to be over.

Otherwise, not much else going on - lovely day today that feels like spring is here, but it is supposed to be raining and 10deg tomorrow so we can't even enjoy it for long. K has just woken from her nap, so might send her and my folks off for a walk now while it is fine - tomorrow looks like another day inside....might be right for doing some baking then.

Oh, and I see it is totally split down the middle for the baby poll: 50-50 boy/girl! LOL.

soooooo.....

I am still here

TJ-baby is still in France

and J is not in labour yet

or is that the other way round?

Obviously, planes still grounded/flights cancelled indefinitely. J mentioned something about possibly taking the Siberian Railway home. I don't think he was 100% joking.....
He had to change hotels (to a cheaper one, work is a bit stingy) but at least the new hotel has a good internet connection and skype actually works this time, so we had a decent conversation tonight, first time since he got to Paris. K misses him and keeps on asking if that is him coming home whenever she hears a noise in the house (like my dad come home from a walk or something and closing the door).

Am taking bets on the sex of TJ-baby: voting on the sidebar.
I figure with all the drama surrounding it (ok, nothing super major, I guess, but it just seems to be something new everytime I freakin' turn around) that it's gotta be a boy, lol. But at the same time I am kinda thinking girl....but that is just me hedging my bets ;-)

No bets on date of arrival, as don't want to jinx myself :-) still hoping J will be here for it....

All I can say is thank goodness for comfort eating, and costcos cookies. And for everyone's comments and cyber-support! THANKS!!

hmph

T - 38 and a half weeks pregnant in Tokyo
J - in Paris on a work trip

and a freakin' volcano erupts in Iceland, grounding all planes in and out of Europe.

J was set to fly out tomorrow evening (France time). Is waiting to see what happens, but currently all flights are grounded or cancelled. I don't hold out much hope for seeing J home over the weekend.

I am starting to wonder just how long TJ-baby is gonna hold out for us....I kinda "felt" that TJ-baby was gonna wait until J got home, but I guess there is only so much TJ-baby can take too.......more leg crossing, I guess.

Oh, and I am now sporting one dooser of a haircut - why I insisted upon going to a new hairdressers at 38weeks pregnant I will never know.... I basically have a boy-cut (something I have never had) - and a bad one at that, as she went a bit rambo on me and cut off a LOT more than I thought I asked for (and than the photo of me in the haircut I wanted seemed to show....) If only TJ-baby holds out in there until my hair grows back now.....

38 weeks

The doctor was, ah, suprised to say the least that I made it for my 38week check up. When I walked in the consultation room he was like "eh?"

Did a quick internal check and I am a bit more dilated, and baby is moving down slightly (no figures given, and I never got around to ask after what happened next)

Then I get up on the bed as always for the tummy ultrasound..... get a look at TJ-baby's face, yaddih, yaddah, then doc moves across my tummy, and his face gets that screwed up "oh-oh" type look to it. He starts pushing the side of my belly like it is jelly on a plate to get it moving. More "hmmmms". He calls the 院長 in, and they get me to turn over. I can tell they are looking for the heartbeat. And they are having trouble. "Perhaps the baby is asleep, let's try to wake it up"....I get told to sit up, then lie down again on my side. They finally get a good signal on the heartbeat, and it sounds ok now. But they *think* that while I was in there, the baby started to squeeze either its own neck, or the umbilical cord. And that was interupting the heartbeat. I get put on the baby monitor for 30mins, but all seems well, so they assume it was just a freak of timing that it happened at that particular time.

Talk about scary.

The last few days I have been giving myself the old jelly-on-a-plate belly push every couple of hours if i can't feel any action. As it is, at this stage of pregnancy, I am NOT feeling much movement, which I put down to big baby in small space, and also being lower down. But now I am paranoid about it, so whenver I lie or sit down, and I don't get any baby kicks after a bit, I give TJ-baby the prod.

Apart from that drama, nothing else to report. No action, per say, except feeling a but crampy at times since last Friday. Several times I thought it might be the start of something, but no notable contractions at regular intervals to record. I have toned everything down though now, since I am half way through the week of J away, I figure if I can do nothing for the next few days and get through it will be worth it. So lots of lying down, napping, TV and not much else. Even sent K out on a big walk this morning with my parents and while I had niggling thoughts to do stuff while they were gone, I gave into my laziness and did NOTHING. While on one hand I feel like a lazy old cow, on the other I figure that if by doing nothing I even have a chance of holding off labour starting until J gets back, then it is my DUTY to do this! So I am going to wait until Sunday and then I will be running around doing all the things I have been thinking about doing for the last few days, lol.

Hanging on for 4 more days, at least......

37weeks

Tues back to the doctors for 37week check up:

2cm dialated

TJ-baby now weighing in at the same as last week, i.e. not the huge bugger they all though it was, but still at about 1week "older" than average sizes.

doctor took lots of ultrasound shots - got to one point where he asked me if I knew the sex, I said "no" he said do you want to know I said "no" lol so he skipped over that part fast. Got a cool foot "photo" as well as some face shots, and one of TJ-baby doing the "peace sign" haha.

overall very quick check up, was told he would see me next week if not before...

I have spent the whole week thinking/praying "this is the day" only to get to Saturday morning at 6:40am where I am dropping my husband off at the bus stop for his week-long business trip to France. Just got the phonecal to say he is boarding the plane now.....am now hoping that everyday until he gets back (next Sunday) is NOT going to be "the day".

Although, I have been feeling a bit "funky" since yesterday morning - feel like baby has dropped (again?) and is putting pressure on my pelvic bone so it hurts when I walk/move...

So I guess the question now is, what can I now do to keep TJ-baby in??

My parents have now taken k off for a walk so I can have a break - what a godsend them being here. Gonna lie on the sofa until they get back - no unecessary movement this week - don't want TJ-baby to be dislodged out, haha (brackets: SIGH!!)

feeling better

It has been a rough week. Although less stressed (both TJ-baby and me) after Tues docs appt, the headcold-allergies really did me over on Wed and Thurs. I thought my head would split in half on Thurs. At one stage I almost felt like I had the flu.... my face was red and swollen and I just felt awful. Also think the meds might have played a part - esp with side effects like shaking, and the headache.

All I can say is THANK GOODNESS my parents arrived early and managed to be here for Thurs - I seriously stayed either horizontal on the sofa, or in bed. I think they may have even thought I was putting it on just to get out of housework (lol) but when I woke up on Fri I was 90% back to normal, and felt like a different person. Which is nice because it was K's 3rd birthday, and we had J, PIL and my parents all here for a full day of celebrations: lunch out at local restaurant, then Dora the explorer birthday cake

and piles and piles of presents from family in Aus that my parents had brought with them, then 手巻きsushi for dinner. K was in her element and really enjoyed being with both sets of grandparents, so it was nice to see. And J was super helpful, well, he basically prepared all the dinner and stuff. I managed to get the cake baked and iced thurs night with mum's help, think it turned out ok. K was happy at least so that is all that matters.

Has been another longish day tho, both K and I missed out on a nap, so i might head to bed early. Since my meds have finished, I am rock^hard belly again.

Also, an interesting thing; I don't know if this happens or not, but I reckon TJ^baby had dropped lower Tues, but is somehow "back" up , riding high again from about yesterday. And more active again. On Thurs there was a stage where I was seriously worried because I hadn't felt any movements for hours. TJ-baby is making up for it today it seems, which is nice.

and now...

I have a stuffy and runny nose, headache (going on all week), sore throat.....grrrrrrrreat. Can't work out if it is a cold, or allergies, or both.

J is out picking up my parents - they are going to be put to good use tomorrow, I think I will be sleeping all day...

at least TJ-baby is still on the inside at this stage ;-)

no stress today

I was waiting an hr again for the 1(wtf?) moniter in the clinic for my turn at the non stress test..... This surely only adds to my stress levels aargh.
Actually, it turned out there are more moniters up in LDR etc, but this morning was another rush of women with contractions so all the monitors (and places to put them) they had were being used up. Fair enough- I can understand being bumped for a women about to pop, but come on - why only keep one monitor down in the clinic part??

(If you haven't guessed, my clinic is starting to piss me off. Lots of little things. Am already regretting my decision to choose this place, but of course nothing I can do now. And I remember being shitted off with the hosp. I gave birth to K at in the lead up for various reasons, but of course after the birth, I was all love-love for the hosp, as they nurses esp. who take care of you after birth were just so lovely and helpful. Am hoping this clinic can redeem itself in the same way. Although I am tempted to write a report in benesse womens' park about some of the things I haven't been so impressed with, lol)

So I finally got hooked up - sat in a massage chair in the nurses lounge, no less, as they seriously had no where else for me, so it was nice that they went to the trouble to set the machine up for me I guess - at about 9:40, and was on for 20-odd mins. Nurse hooking me up commented "gee, your baby is down low, isn't it" as she put the monitor clips basically on my v-doobies, lol. The monitor clips were in a dfferent place yesterday - and I have to say that since yesterday afternoon, I have felt "lighter" and more mobile all of a sudden - yikes!

So pretty much I am the same - hardened tummy 99% of the time on the machine, but this time TJ-baby is strong and doesn't react to the stress, so am told all is ok, and make an apt for next Tues, when I am officially 37w.

Feeling a bit better and a bit less stressed myself with the results from today too.

BRIEF stop at shop to buy bread for lunch (after 11am as we leave docs) and some futon covers for my parent's make-shift bedroom, collect money from bank and go directly to jail, uh, I mean back home to skype mum to say I am ok, then into bed with K for a marathon nap of about 3hours!!! I am still half asleep. Lucky have enough leftovers for side dishes to go with our pork chops for dinner, but haven't put rice on as J has been coming home a bit early, and he gets pooey if the rice hasn't been sitting for long enough before cooking it, so figure he can have microwave rice for dinner tonight ;-)

Finally tomorrow we have a day at home to hopefully catch up a bit (nothing over the top) with some cleaning and organising, with lots of breaks in between. Would be great if I had a go-go-gadget arm so I could do dust/vacuum/cook all without having to get my lard arse off the sofa haha.

35w6d

Check up yesterday morning. (my ticker up the top is a bit out of whack)

Was told I had a 9:30-10am apt, but to be there by 9:10am to be strapped up for non-stress test. I was THE FIRST person there at 8:44am.

10:10am and still haven't been called. Have seen at least 3 others go in for the nst, not to mention several dozen being called in for checks.

I think they forgot me as I was miraculously called about 5mins after I asked what was going on (they were all apologies, someone started having contractions while on the monitor, so they were backed up yaddi-yaddah.)

Weight gain in last 2 weeks: MINUS 200g (not really sure how that happened, esp as we made a costco run in the mean time and I have maybe, possibly snuck a few cookies and muffins in :-)

Ultrasound (external) shows TJ-baby has:

the head of a 39w old

the bone length (femur length I think)of a 37w5d old

the weight of a 37w old at 2907g

Overall, Tj-baby is a big one (I take this with a bit of a grain of salt, as K was told this whole time too, but anyways...) Doc seems a bit apprehensive over TJ-baby's size, and once again states that he thinks we will probably go into labour early.....

Get some meds for the GBS, and once again am told about having to have the antibiotics once labour starts.

More important is the results from non-stress-test. Apparently we are stressed. Well, obviously I am, but more specifically, lots of braxton hicks (nurse: "your stomach is like, constantly hard") are putting real stress on TJ-baby.

Given meds to try to calm down the 張る-ing, told to at least keep TJ-baby on the inside until I reach "full term" at 37w, a.k.a next Tuesday, and told to come back for more monitoring on Wed morning....but while waiting in lobby to pay bills, nurse runs up and says, "actually, doc wants you to come back tomorrow morning".

So have been awake since 4am this morning, stressing, can't sleep as it felt like my tummy was preparing to be thrown down a bowling alley (am sure I would have got a strike with a tummy this hard) and then spending an hour counting baby movements (they do seem to have slowed down the last few days, but thankfully despite the first 20mins or so of nothing but hardened abs, I started feeling hiccups, then kicks, so yay for that at least). At nearly 6am I decided I wouldn't be getting back to sleep, so came down for a cuppa and some breakfast so I can take my tablets, and so we can get out of the house at 8am to be there for an even earlier apt (8:40am) this morning with the nst monitor.

Decided I would spend the next week on the sofa, esp until my parents get here Wed (tomorrow) night - anything to keep baby in!! But first had to stop by toys'r'us to check if they had any Dora party goods as it is K's 3rd birthday on Fri, and want to make her a dolly-bardon type cake. (got a fab dora figurine - just hope I get to make the cake :-)

Came home with the intention of doing nothing (but remembered I have no baby clothes washed, no hospital bag packed, no dosh prepared to pay for hospital bills upfront etc etc so after a nap with K, I started trying to slowly get stuff prepared. Still have more to do today (SLOWLY) so hope I get to come home from docs to do it.

And I haven't even started on the R-situation last week that had me so super stressed out..... briefly, last Wed (March 24th), she jumped out of her cage/house/circle (it has a mesh roof that is attached around the edges with push-stud type buttons, which she managed to undo) and got into the esky by the fridge which still had a few of those freezer gel packs in it. She ate 4 of them. Vets visit in afternoon, hours of googling and ringing gel-pack makers to confirm that gel-packs DO NOT contain anti-freeze (ethyle glycol, while slightly toxic in humans is basically deadly for cats and dogs, causing kidney failure - I seriously spent all day/several days last week thinking R would die), R throws up during my night-time vigil so I take her to doggy ER, where they treat her like a poisons victim, getting all the foreign matter out. Careful watching of her for next 3 days, more trips to vet - turns out the toxins have caused some damage to her liver, so she is now on liver-treatment pills. Still not 100%, but thankfully getting there.

No wonder my head has been throbbing since last week with all these things to stress over....

33week check-up day in review and getting ready for TJ-baby

A week ago, we had another TJ-baby check-up (33weeks).

Of course on days when we need to be out of the house early, K sleeps in. I could NOT budge her,and it was already past 8am! I had a 9am appointment (well, 9-9:30am枠） at the docs, so really needed to get out of the house by 8:20am, as I like to get there early 1) to get a carpark and 2) so that i can be one of the first ones they see. But K was out to it. Managed to tickle her into awakeness, but still it was a matter of running out the door, and handing her her breakfast in the car, haha.

The docs were pretty crowded, so we didn't get seen to until a bit after 9:30am, oh well. I was also a bit late arriving after taking the back roads (going round in circles on them) to try to find a short cut, and ending up it being a long cut as I came out on the main road that is super traffic jammed most times of the day. If only I could find the back street that comes out at the best position on the main road (I can see it from the main road, but just can't find it from the back streets) I could cut 15mins off a morning trip to the doctors (it only takes 10-15mins max at other times of the day.....)

There was also a bit of commotion in the waiting room - a newborn was packed up in a humicrib and being taken away by ambulance, I guess to the big hospital.The mum was crying right there, and it got me all choked up too. I really had to fight back the tears. (why am I the only hormonal pregnant woman in the place?? everyone else was super cool about it all)

Got to the other nice doctor, well, the one that always tells me to watch my weight. Fair enough, have packed on a bit again. Am now sitting at about 12-13kg weight gain. This is what I was when K was born. Also baby is at about 2500g, which is what K was when she was born.......yikes.

I had an internal, and the doc asked if I was having hardening of the stomach（張ってる）to which I replied "oh yes" and he was kinda concerned...asked me how many times an hour, to which I replied that I don't think it comes every hour, more like several times a day, but of course after I came home, my belly was hard as a rock for most of the rest of the day. So I started getting stressed, and the more I stressed, the more it seemd to 張ってくる. Seems better today though, so think it was more stress related, but am gonna keep an eye on that.

I got to ask my questions, esp about GBS, and he was very calm and non-worried, simply stating that yes we will need to have a drip at the first signs of labour, and that having it does not necessarily mean that I will pass it on to TJ-baby. But he does think that labour will be quick (as in, from the time it starts) and that I will probably go early, hopefully not pre-term, but when I mentioned that J will be away the start of April, he was like, that is probably when something will happen then (kind of said in the ironic sense, but I also think he was kinda being serious too). He told me to get to hospital as soon as I feel contractions even 15mins apart, esp so that the antibiotics can be administered by drip. This is where I am still concerned because last time my waters broke, and I never even felt contractions until I was in the transition phase (basically) and they were coming 2-3mins apart. I guess I am just getting nervous about giving birth, and not knowing what to expect - so it it seems that even being a 2nd birth, I am still clueless lol!!

Also my other big worry was what am I gonna do if it does happen while I am here alone. My parents were supposed to get in April 10th, but J leaves before then (not sure when) and while I can call my PIL, they are an hour away. It is so much stress just thinking about what I can do with K.

(I deleted a long section here with me freaking out about the logistics of them coming, what we are gonna do with K etc, as I had a talk to them on skype and I got all upset, so they actually went about changing their ticket to a week earlier.....end result - they are coming MARCH 31st!! I am so relieved! At least when J is away, I won't be alone now.)

Otherwise, TJ-baby is doing good, very active still, making my stomach look like a set for "alien" movie re-runs with all the poking, prodding and kicking from the inside.

J went for his 父親学級 (dad's class) at the clinic on Saturday, so now he is able to be there for the birth, if he is HERE for the birth of course. Next check up is March 29th, and apparently this time they will be strapping me up for 20mins before the check (I am guessing that means the stress-test thingy, which I never actually did with K). I bet it is just another way for them to charge me more money....did I MENTION that I got a bill for when I rang them up for a "phone consult" (apparently) - in my mind I was checking something that the doctor forgot to tell me, so am a bit peeved that they even charged me for it (only 710yen or something, but totally not the point).

Finally, this last 2weeks or so I have really felt that I am pregnant, being able to now tick off the following traits:

penguin-like waddle when walking

constant trips to the bathroom, day and night (the night time bathroom runs have just begun, somehow I managed to avoid this for 2tris!! but now I am spending more time in the toilet at night than bed, lol)

constant use of the word "よいしょ" , "よし” and general grunting when getting up off seats, out of car, climbing stairs etc

given up running after K most of the time, just letting her do as she pleases in shops etc (truthfully, I couldn't catch her even if I tried ;))

getting tired from going out (ok, this has been around for a while, but even just sitting in the car for extended periods of time these days wears me out)

needing to lie down rather than just sit down to relax, as sitting tends to just put too much pressure down low, making it rather uncomfortable

taking off my wedding rings (mainly due to peer pressure from the nurse at the clinic.... I haven't had any swelling at all, but I can't be bothered listening to the same rant every time now for the next few weeks. Put rings in with my engagement ring box - better document it in case I forget and freak out post-partum about not being able to find them!)

wearing tunics and leggings

and we even set up the cot this long weekend (in the playroom, but I figure it is the best place for it at the moment, as I can store nappies and the bath underneath it, and use as a nappy changing table and for naps during the day), and got the nappy bin out ready too. Even dropped in to city hall to check what needs to be done to register baby's birth (wasn't sure as now koseki and jyuminhyo are in different cities, but can register birth here where we live!). Tomorrow I am going out to buy nappies while they are still on sale, and a friend has offered me an old maya sling to use (already have a baby bjorn and the ergo for later on, but wanted a material sling to try this time), so I am feeling kinda like I am starting to get ready for TJ-baby now! Getting excited! Now, if only we could work on that name list......

3rd tri fatigue

I just can't seem to find any energy these days.

It is almost hard to believe that pregnancy fatigue could come back with such a vengance and be WORSE than 1st trimester fatigue. I guess at this stage, I am also sporting an extra 10, 11, 12kilos - most likely more?? (haven't jumped on the scales recently, too scary) which is not helping. Getting up from any kind of sitting position is a major task.

I feel sorry for K, but I have been a crabby, snappy, tired, and easily annoyed basketcase (more than usual anyway) for the last few days. I put it down mainly to over-doing myself by going to a wedding on the weekend, having PIL over for the weekend (to look after K while we were at the wedding, but we (I) still had to look after them when I got home and the next day since they stayed over), and then planning a morning tea-playdate for the following day. I am buggered.

After our friends left yesterday, both K and I went down for a lovely nap, then hit the sack early last night to sleep in til the lovely time of 9am this morning. Yep, 9AM!!!!!! You would think that would get me back on track, but I was yawning again by midday, and had to lie down with K at 1pm for a nap (which I had, but she didn't, oh well, at least she was VERY VERY good and just lay there in bed with me (me thinks) reading and tearing up tissues while I was passed out, haha! )

But I still feel like crap, tired and have a headache now too. Considering that K didn't actually nap today, we can probably get her down to sleep early tonight, so I might just have to join her, at like 8pm! I know that sleeping too much can sometimes have the opposite effect, but I am even yawning again as I type this, so figure it best to at least give it a chance again tonight in the hope that I am able to bounceback to somewhat human by Thursday for playroup.

And J is away again this week, so while I don't have to be making proper dinners, which helps, it also means that poor K is getting no active-rough-and-tumble-type play at all, since I am just too wasted to stand up half the time.

This tiredness sucks. The rain (currently SNOW here actually) and cold outside doesn't help either.

babble babble

Just me babbling.

thanks for the comments re the group b strep situation and my fears for impending "second motherhood" haha.

A quick check online, and it seems that indeed, the Daikuma down the road (the predecessor to "Donkey", and subsidery of Yamada denki) may well be the cheapest nappies around. I am still gonna have to check out a few drug stores around too, but so far the price seems good, and is current until March 24th, so I have a bit of time before I need to buy. I am not sure how many newborn nappies to buy....K was tiny, so even the "smaller than shinseiji" were being used on her, and the shinseiji for several months. But I have no idea how big TJ-baby will be, and don't want to overbuy newborn nappies. Also don't want to have to be out buying them every other day. I might even stock up on some S size nappies while I am at it.
I remember with K though, that some brands fitted her better than others, and at certain times/ages, some were more prone to give her nappy rash, or cause leakage etc. I am pretty sure we used Merries most of the time, then Pampers for s size when we could. But this time I am gonna maybe try out the "Goon" nappies just because of the great name.

Feeling a bit blah today. Didn't sleep so well (basically off and on until 2am, but think I did pass out for a while after that.) In any case I woke up with a super puffy face and it hasn't really improved yet, so I will be staying out of sight of others today I think. I had a list of things to do today, but am gonna flag the morning stuff, in the hope that I pick up after lunch. If not, there is always tomorrow, right...? Was already feeling yucky after dinner last night (tired and cranky) so figure it is better for everyone's happiness if I take it easy today and rest ;)

K has a bit of a cough and runny nose, so we may have to skip playgroup tomorrow, bummer. It has been lingering since the weekend, no fever thank goodness.

Today is mum's birthday - happy birthday mum!! I had a time of trying to order online flowers, using a site that I had used before. They state several things on their website, including delivery charges in Aus at 9.90, and that they will get back to you via email within 12hours if you have any questions etc, and if you sign in you get 5% discount...well, when I went to the checkout, th delivery charge came up at 12.95, so I tried to email them about it, but over 50hours later and I still haven't heard back from them. Also there was no where to actually sign in to be able to get the discount. I sent them 3 emails in the end, still waiting to hear back from them. I know, it is not a lot of money involved, but it is really the principle of the thing - they say one thing on their site, but don't follow through with it. I almost gave up and went through another site to order the flowers, but ttytt, they are super cheap for the exact same bunch of flowers, and when I did order them last night at 10pm or so, they got delivered to mum's this morning at 9am!! now that IS good service!!!!! And the lilies were buds, so she gets to enjoy them longer. Mum seemed happy with them, so that is all that counts.

Today is also 17years since my granny was buried (yep, on mum's birthday). She passed away 17years ago on Sunday. It really doesn't feel like that long. I had a lot to do with Granny growing up, as she spent half of most years at our house (the winter months). We used to play card games like Euka, and after we had been out in the car, as we drove into the driveway she always used to say "We're home because we're home".

there have been helicopters flying overhead all day today, from about 7:30am this morning. I think we must be in the american base flight path (we are under the path as the crow flies between 2 base now I think about it). It is getting annoying though. This is not a daily occurance by any means, but it has been happening more recently. I wonder if I could put in an order for some foreign goodies to be dropped off next time they fly over in exchange for putting up with the annoying helicopter sound all day??

I am yawning as I write this, so gonna stop babbling and just relax for a bit.

Group B stress

(sigh)
Friday's checkup revealed I have GBS. Not only does it make me feel like a filthy whore (yes, I know it is common, and not a "disease", and present in something like 30% of women, but when you have to use the word "baikin" to describe it, well, it makes it sound so ugly) but now I am also freaking out over the possibilities of passing it on to TJ-baby during labour, and what problems that might mean for TJ-baby. The doc on Fri was the not-so-friendly one - as in he was cracking up at the nurse about why I had already had the test for GBS at 29weeks, when they usually do it at 30weeks or something (like come on!!) and telling HER (not me) that they can always just put me on an antibiotic drip for labour while I was lying on the bed half naked waiting for said nurse to wipe my belly after the ultrasound. It really didn't put me much at ease, and in fact in the doctors office, I really didn't understand what the problem was, except for the throwing around of the word "baikin", but I came home and looked over the latest test results shoved in my boshitecho, and that is when I realised it was GBS.

Got no sleep on Friday night after an internet search and several horror stories later....I guess *my* biggest fear at the moment is that my labour time with K was pretty quick, although I was in hospital from the night before after my waters broke, from the time contractions started until K was born was only about 6hours. And they say that the second baby is often faster even, right...what if there is not enough time for the antibiotic drip to work (I think it needs to be in for 4 hours before labour to have any affect in reducing GBS passover to baby)?? And there was also some stuff about GBS causing premature birth. K was 2weeks early, and while I know that it is not necessarily true that TJ-baby will be early simply because of that, I am still worried about it all. My parents get in April 10th. J leaves for Paris (business trip) April 11th (maybe 10th, still to be confirmed aarrgh!) and is gone for a week or so.

Add to all of this, my feelings of utter lack of preparedness (is that a word? it checks up on the spellchecker, lol) for the impending arrival - I have done ziltch: no baby clothes washed (they haven't even been pulled out of storage, gotta try to think where they where put in the move!) obviously no hospital bag packed (although I don't really need anything except my boshitecho as the clinic provides clothes and other stuff), just now typing this I realise I haven't a clue where the baby bath is either.....About the only thing I have done, is over the weekend while out I started looking at nappies at places, trying to suss out the cheapest place to buy them, but that is the extent of my preparations (didn't buy any nappies yet,lol)

I seriously think I feel more nervous this time around.
Less prepared.
More scared.

Maybe it is because I kinda KNOW what is gonna hit me (where as with K I had NO IDEA) and maybe it is because I am now starting to think how the hell am I gonna get through every day with a newborn to look after AND get ANYTHING else in the house done, including being able to be there for K, who is very self-sufficient, being able to play by herself a lot, but still, she has her demanding times too.

I hope it is just a case of performance anxiety.
Have set myself several tasks for this month to get ready, so hopefully that will alleviate my fears a bit once they are done.

To end on a positive note, I can't believe I am already 31weeks - this pregnancy is coming along fast, and I am excited about TJ-baby, while also dying to find out if it is a boy or girl....I have a feeling it is a girl, ttytt, not sure why. And TJ-baby continues to be more active than I remember K being, punching and kicking almost like an alarm clock every hour. TJ-baby also seems to like it when I read to K, and gets very active then (perhaps they think I am reading to them, lol!?)

Oh, and while not really a "positive" note, my cravings have changed yet again. I had umeboshi with rice a couple of nights ago, and it was SOOOOO average. Such a change from just a week ago when I was eating 3,4,5 umeboshi at a sitting, and loving it lol. Not sure what my cravings have changed into - maybe bread again? (The herb bread I made yesteday definately hit the spot!!) As always chocolate is on the list - oreos YUM!!! Now THAT is a positive note to finish on for sure!!!!!

25weeks3days

Some serious menu planning (eating like a rabbit for 3days) and efficiently chosen clothing (I looked like I was about to hit the beach, lol - and I even re-weighed myself without my thin hoodie, which cut another 300g off!) and I came in at 2.2kg for the last month and 3days....not bad at all! So there was no weight mentioned this time. As it turned out, it was a different doctor, who didn't say very much AT ALL (not even the "this may be a little cold" before putting the gel on my tum-tum) so I probably needn't have worried. Oh well, it was fun for a few days. And I got to reward myself with a Mr Donut morning tea break afterwards - seriously! We got out of the doctors before 10am, so went to the small shopping centre close by to pick up some groceries, and shouted K and myself to some donuts and (gasp) a cup of coffee!! I don't really drink coffee (and have avoided it more so than usual during pregnancy), but every now and then I just feel like one, and when Mr Donuts offers free refills, well, I just couldn't resist. How good is THAT! (mental note to self to go to Mr Donuts more often). So K and I shared 2 donuts (only because as soon as we sat down she decided that she DIDN'T want the one she picked out from the pack, but she wanted MINE, but I managed to convince her to go 半分子 with me, since she had the plain one, lol) then she said she wanted a drink of milk, so we got her a kiddies drink (105yen, again, too coool!) and a pink donut to share again and sat for some more. Was nice. She didn't eat lunch when we got home, but hey, once in a while ain't bad, right.

So all is good with TJ-baby - about 907g according to the ultrasound pic, right on track. We left home just before 8:20am, coz the traffic in the morning here is crazy - there are 2 lanes going down the hill, about 1km until we turn onto the start of the expressway or straight ahead to the next station area. In the mornings, the road to the expressway is always backed back to OUR traffic lights, so I usually jump into the right hand lane and try to cut in at the last minute. Seriously, can be like a 15min difference if you just stay in the left lane. A bit いんちき maybe, tho..... Anyway, got to the docs before 8:40am, so we were the first ones there, K likes playing with the toys there anyway, and I prefer to get there early and try to get out quickly. Had my checkup (all of 5mins) then was called back for 採血. It seems every time I go they are taking more tests or blood from me - never remember doing it this often when pregnant with K. I was also getting a bit worried because each time the appointments are costing close to 8000yen, or more, and that is WITH the little discount tickets from the city. When I asked the clinic originally they had said that it would be more like 4000yen or something each visit, so I thought I was be taken for a ride, but today it came out at only 3900yen (lol) so I was happy - more money to shout myself Mr Donuts with, right!? Next appointment is in 3 weeks time.....guess I am over the halfway point now, so they are just gonna get more frequent until I am down at the docs every other day, lol.

I also have to pay the 2nd down payment/２次予約金 probably next time, 20万 I think it is, yikes! Better start searching behind the sofa for loose coins or sell my body or something to pay for that.

Apart from the pretty constant back pain (not dilapidating, but ever existent) and some nightly headaches, things are going well though! I am probably not "enjoying" being pregnant this time, but that is only because I am not 100% focused on the pg. That said, I am not NOT enjoying it, so that is good at least. We came home and I decided to end off a lazy week with a lazy afternoon on the sofa reading "Shopaholic and Baby" and eating salty senbei as I figure I can only use the "I'm pregnant, why not" excuse for a few months more so better make the most of it now.

Oh, and it seems each time I go my current pg status (how many weeks/days pg I am) changes again, just by a day or 2. Not sure if that means that my EDD changes too or not, lol. but today I was recorded as 25w3days, even though I counted differently....oh well.

the big weigh-in

is coming up on Friday (25weeks check-up). So I am trying to remember to get myself into pre-weigh-in eating mode for the next few days, in a bit of a damage-control effort. That means smaller meals (only half a bowl of rice last night, compared to eating refills, lol) and snacking on fruit......

This is not dieting, btw, just not scoffing food in 24-7 like I have been - I don't know a time I have ever eaten so much (except maybe when breastfeeding K, lol).

It makes it hard when we just did a Costco run on the weekend.
And I bought the muffins. (yum).
And we had pizza!

I have tried to restrain myself the last few days, honestly, but those choc muffins are just so damn good!!!! At least the rest of them are frozen now, which takes me a whole extra 30sec to get them out, maybe a deterrent?

I feel like a jockey before a big race - hope I make the weigh in, lol.

21weeks update

I had a check up on Wednesday, 21w1day.

TJ-baby is perfect sizing for 21weeks, so maybe the EDD is right? Got a cute face shot, that I thought looked pretty obvious, but when I showed it to J he was like "what is this then?" lol. The stock-standard ultrasound pictures are pretty hard to fathom. I think they have a 4D ultrasound facility at the clinic, but I don't think it is included in regular checkups, so I probably wont get one.

I told the doctors that we don't want to know the sex, and he was like, "good, because there is a 50-50- chance either way" hehe. The nurse then turned around and said "personally *I* would like a boy, coz I want to see a cute little blond boy running around" . When the doc gave her a wierd look, she added "have you seen how cute her daughter(K) is - I bet a boy would be kakkoi". So I guess there is one vote for a boy. I am still uncertain either way. With K, I did think until about 30weeks that it was gonna be a boy, but I was carrying too round, as opposed to the classic "boy out the front pregnant belly look".

I got a red line underneath my weight gain....3.2kg in a month. I am supposed to keep it to 2kg/4weeks. oops. I have to say the doc was not too 厳しい about it, it was just kinda a good reminder just to keep things under control a bit. Anyway, my starting point with this pg was higher than that with K, so I am already only about 3kg away from my final weight with K! lol. I think it was my recent craving for peanut butter (as in, by the SPOONFUL!!) that might have helped me stack on the weight this time. Am trying to keep my meal sizes down a bit now, and have even been giving half my rice to K - she is being a bit piggy and eating up a storm again!

I am finding TJ-baby to be pretty active (and how the hell does s/he get from one side of my belly to the other in a split second?) all day and night long, seems much more active than K. We haven't really thought of names yet - I was a bit pissed off when J and I had a quick chat in the car on our way to Gunma, and I gave my favourite boy/girls names, then he went and told his mates when we were at the end-of-year party a few weeks ago...I think he thought I was joking with the choice of names I mentioned, but I was quite serious! With K we didn't decide until after she was born, but we had made lists. K was one of the name on the list. We had to think of the kanji while in hospital tho. And I spent the first few nights mispronouncing K's name anyway, lol.

My back is playing up recently - even bending over for a few seconds and it gets really sore. Vacuuming sucks. As does cleaning the bath. Might have to give up housework altogether soon - "pregnancy related" of course (lol). Mum reminded me that my back hurt when I was pg with K too.

I get my swine flu vaccination next Monday afternoon (finally!) which will be a bit of a relief - more psychological than anything.

Other than that, I have been lucky to get a few hand me down maternity clothes and baby stuff this time. We never really bought much with K, so this time we got a cot passed on to us (I actually had offers for 3 different cots!!). If we knew the sex, I could stock up on clothes too as necessary, but since we are not asking, I am not taking baby clothes yet.

I can't believe that I am half-way there...only another 20weeks (well, less hopefully) until TJ baby joins us. How exciting!

yikes

I am having a bad day of it I think. Nothing major, just little things like, so far this morning I have:

stood in front of the wrong elevator while the other one opened and shut and left without me

when going to get out of the carpark - forgot I had to put ticket in to open the boom gate, so drove car right up the left side to make a big turn, only to have to stop the car, put it in park, with park break, wind down the window AND open the door to put the carparking ticket in.

then I tried to drive out with the car still in "park".

then I realised I had come the wrong exit anyway

got stuck in traffic trying to get back to the road I needed to get to

basically slammed on the breaks to stop at a GREEN light. Granted, it was one of those stupid Japanese lights that has a green straight ahead arrow, with a big round red light above it, so I am giving myself the benefit of the doubt for that one, lol And there were no cars behind me, thank goodness.

mounted the kerb going through the Maccas drive thru (thought a choc mcshake and cheeseburger would "fix" me, I know, I know, was gonna be "good".....no more junky food from tomorrow, I promise, lol)

ok, so it is all basically car related things. makes me think maybe I just shouldn't be driving!!

I had a good sleep last night, first time in a while. I have been having trouble sleeping, tossing and turning trying to get comfy. Lying on one side on the futons was making my legs ache. So last night it was back to the bed, with the nice comfy matress, but less room for us to sleep - futons give us more room to "breath" and escape from K's relentless kicking during the night. I set up a a side-car type bed for K on the side of our bed. It is too cold to be sleeping in different rooms, sleeping together keeps us all warmer, esp K who ALWAYS kicks off the blankets. I bought her a sleeping bag, but she won't wear it, actually, she has started taking her p.j.pants off at night too, which I think she got from J, who sleeps in just undies. Anyways, I have to keep covering her all night too so she doesn't freeze!
Have also been a bit off in general the last few days - tummy is crampy and I haven't had much of an appetite at all. I think I am gonna have a cruisy afternoon, bugger the housework, am gonna put on my uniqlo room pants and read magazines while K naps.

so much to tell you......

The shift button (that I usually push with my right hand pinky) seems to be playing up, not working half the time and it is pissing me off. I can't manage to switch my (bad) typing style to accommodate using the left hand side shift button. So I am retyping almost everything I type anyway.

I got a shock when I jumped on the scales last night....in preparation for today's doc appt, thought I should pre-weigh just so I wouldn't be surprised when the docs started ripping into me for putting on too much this time. But when the scales were showing that I had put on 3.9kg ALREADY (at week 16!) I was flabbergasted! With K, at around this time, I had put on about 1kg. BIG difference. No wonder I am feeling the need for maternity clothes this time, as I am already so big!
Anyway, a re-weigh in this morning before leaving the house, and I was only up 2.9kg - so it MUST have been the yaki-buta restaurant dinner that we had last night that still hadn't been digested.

Then, when I got to the docs, what would you know, the scales read EVEN LESS again, and I was only showing a 2.1kg weight gain! woo-hoo. Gotta love scales that work the right way for ya! Although it is double the weight gain I had when pregnant with K (so far) I am soooooooooo 納得 of it, because I know I have been indulging, what with french macaroons and chocolates, almost daily butter and french stick eating marathons and the cravings for salty potato chips and maccas.....I was always gonna gain more. I am surprised that it hasn't ballooned out more, ttytt. Now I just gotta put my policeman hat on and not forget that just because I haven't ballooned yet, it does not give me license to keep eating the way I am going. (Although I just had a hot milo, and I am going to have some corn chips tonight after I finish this, because I do feel like it, lol). Healthy eating starts tomorrow!!

Week 16+6days check up. TJ-baby is fine, genki, ぐ～　ぱ～ing and stretching legs when on ultrasound. This time the doc checked out baby's stomach other internal organs and said all are growing normally so no problems there. Baby's head is big, measuring in at that of a 17~18week old in-utero, but doc said that there is 個人差, and the standard measurements are for Japanese babies anyway, so my foreign-blooded baby is sure to be bigger. _(rolls eyes) They said that with K all the way through the pregnancy too, and she was the 2nd smallest in the nursery when she was born, but hey.....My sister and brother were both born small, my sister's three kids were all born small (and early) and K was early and small too. I think it does run in the family, but still, it will be interesting to see what happens this time.
(FWIW, I was born on time and normal weight - how plain, lol)

We had 8 or so of J's friend's over (Japanese people he met when on working holiday in NZ many moons ago) for a housewarming party Saturday night. We snacked on chips, dips, olives, cheeses, salami, and pate (well, I didn't have the last 3) and then had do-it-yourself tacos. It was a really good night! Hopefully next year when it warms up and the grass is ready out the back, we can have some bbq parties too.

We got a new breadmaker!! It was a housewarming present from these ↑ guests. J tried it out straight away on Saturday night, and we had fresh bread at about 9pm, haha. It was sooooooooo yummy. Now I am gonna get some whole wheat and make some even yummier bread! I am so excited because I had wanted a breadmaker for ages, and J's friends remembered I had said that, so it was a really great present. Now the breadmaker is sitting on the shelf beside the rice cooker. Talk about merging of cultures, haha.

and now wouldn't you know it, the whole time I have been writing this post, the shift button on the right has worked fine. It must have been a rogue corn chip crumb or something lodged in there that worked it's way out.

K and I are going for our seasonal flu jabs tomorrow.
There is still no talk about when the swine flu jabs will become available here. My ob. is offering them only to 30week+ pregnant women, as they don't have enough vaccinations available. The other clinics I have tried are still unsure when they will even get the vaccines. It is crazy. Another friend just emailed to say that her daughter has the flu - that is now 3 people I know that have been swined. I am worried that by the time the vaccine becomes available, it will be too late. I am trying to be vigilant with hand washing, gurgling (?)うがい for me and K. And avoiding public transport as much as possible.....but we can't be holed up in the house the whole winter, K needs to get out and play with kids at playgroup, etc. Just hope we can somehow stay swine-free!

I am trying hard to get our new budget/家計簿 working, but it is hard when we have so much stuff to buy for the place. It seems every day we think of things we need to make our life 快適. simple things like towel rails in the kitchen, or cleaning products, or condiments.....stuff that needed to be bought anyway, but still it all adds up when you buy it at once!!! And then this month's electricity bill came in today - wowza. Of course there are more places to use electricity in a house than a 2room apt, but still, it was a shock! The 床暖房 and oil heater we have been using a lot of also adds up. I guess we just have to work our way through things and find the places that we are using up the electricity and then try to 節約 from there. And since everything is all-denka, it is probably more too. Anyway, that is (one of) my aims for the next few months, to try to get the electricity bill down, by cutting down on 無駄使い around the house. They say that even pulling appliances out of the wall over night/when not in use (for e.g. the modem and internet connection) can make a difference too. 頑張ります。

K has been a bit of a pain recently - serious tanty hell going on. This morning there were tears at the breakfast table, I am still not sure why, but it didn't help that we had to be out of the house before 8:30 to get to my docs appt. I was so close to having to throw a half dressed, unfed kid into the car, but she managed to go to the toilet and get dressed just in time to make it! But yeah, some serious terrible 2s going on. Oh, and the major thing at the moment, is her inability to share. No, it is really more of a "pick up everything in the room and hold it to her chest saying it's mine" whenever there are other kids around. Or even better, snatching from THEM. I cannot work out how to teach her to share. It has gotten bad the last month or 2. If we keep going, I am worried that no mums are gonna let us play with them!!!

ok, I have had enough of babbling now. If anyone is still reading, お疲れ様！ I am going to crack open a mitsuya cider and throw some corn chips in a bowl and vege in front of the tv. Remember - healthy eating starts TOMORROW!

baby fingers, or just gas??

The last couple of nights after everyone has gone to bed, and of course I am still up, lying on the sofa being little miss insomniac, I have had the feeling that I have felt tj-baby moving! Which is crazy, right, coz am still only 14weeks, coming into 15,(tho not impossible, I realise many people feel the baby earlier the 2nd pregnancy), granted, but still... With K I never felt anything until about 18weeks, and then it was the "bubbles" or "tickling of the fingertips from the inside" type of feelings at first. This time, I seem to feel actual baby movements, you know, rolls, jumps, line dancing, etc. Truthfully, I think it is just lots of late night gas action (how romantic) but still I like to sit here on the sofa late at night and pretend that it is baby, hehe. Who knows, it may be!

Anyway, I am feeling less "bleuch" after my last post - I think I was just in a downer over no clothes fitting, having a few chuck-ups, still having headaches (trying to keep up water is helping) and whatever. And my effort to keep meal servings to enough for one and one-in-the-oven only, as opposed to enough for a stable of sumo wrestlers seems to be helping out too. My tiredness remains, but I do indulge in wherever possible daily naps with K, which then only seem to make me unable to get to sleep at a reasonable time at night, but without them, I am a mess, so am gonna stick to this style for a while. I was never one to go to bed early anyway.

Today is Friday - we had a busy week, and the house has suffered for it. Haven't really been home since Tuesday, when the house was pretty immaculate due to PIL visit. Wed we drove out to visit a friend about 40mins away, and yesterday was playgroup. Also haven't been to supermarket all week, so stocks are low. This morning we will walk down to big train station and shop, bank, post office ourselves crazy.

Just remembered that Friday is also bin day - better get our 燃えるごみ out there before we miss the boat, er, truck. It comes only 2 times a week, Mon and Fri. Before we moved it came 3 times a week - one less pick up makes such a difference! Maybe we should just get a wheelie bin? Although it is the plastic rubbish that causes more headache - they only come Thursdays for that, and by then we have a huge garbage bag full! I miss our old place where we didn't have to even separate plastics from other rubbish....

Heading down to PIL holiday house this weekend, mainly to bring back all the winter stuff that, in our wisdom in moving during summer, took down there as we wouldn't need it for a while......and then the cold hits, and we are stuck with one single bed sized doona and one single bed sized blanket for three of us! Cold tootsies! Also wanna bring back the coffee machine, some plates etc so that when we have our housewarming next weekend we will be able to entertain properly.

scrubbing the decks

literally.

PIl are over today - well, only FIL actually. I thought they were both coming, but MIL had some other 用事. We haven't seen them since getting back from Oz, oh well. So FIL is helping J in the backyard, landscaping, and I have just scrubbed the front balcony. Have never done that before, always having lived in rental places, the balconies are so crappy to start with that it was never even worth going out on them, let alone trying to get 50years of crud off them. But of course, in your own home things are different (and the housework list just keeps on getting longer, it seems!!) so after all the wind and rain the last couple of days, the balconies are looking worse for wear, so out with the scrubbing brush (on a long handle). Am taking a slight reprieve after the living room balcony, before I do the bedroom balcony - it is hard work, and I am feeling all ぽかぽか despite it having turned cool yesterday.

So I am at 14weeks at the moment, but I have to say that I think I am not as feeling as good overall this pregnancy as I was when with K. I seem to be in a constant state of headache, crampy, which I am thinking is round ligament pain (well, that is what google came up with anyway) and just blah, though not actually nauseous. Although, in a strange twist of events, I actually threw up for the first time ever with morning sickness on Sunday morning.....as we were out at home centres again looking for kitchen cabinets. K had to go to the toilet, and as soon as I got there, I had to hug the porcelain bowl. I guess at least the timing was good. I hadn't been feeling well all morning, sitting down and resting on various lounges, dining chairs etc in the furniture shop, but still the throwing up part did take me by surprise.

And, thanks to my husband being so lovely and bringing back yummy macaroons and chocolates from his business trips, I have put on a bit too much weight the past 2 weeks. I think 2kg - gasp!! I hadn't put any weight on at 12weeks, so overall it is not that bad, but I know that 2kg in 2 weeks is not the best - and I have to curb that before I explode! Generally my body is pretty good at letting me know when I have stepped over the line, before I get too far out of control. So I am going to hide the (very few) remaining chocolates and try to eat more healthily. I have also been lazy about food the last couple of weeks too, what with J away, and well, lots of other excuses I am sure, hehe. Now we have the bigger fridge, I am slowly building up stock, so hopefully I can start being more creative and healthy in cooking meals from now on too, and stop relying on fall-backs.

Okay, feeling somewhat refreshed, so going upstairs to do some more deck-scrubbing.