book 'em, Dano

Several months ago, I was the lucky winner in a competition on Nay's blog in a book giveaway. I read the book almost straight away after getting it (thanks Nay's mum for sending it to me, hehe) and then lent it out to a friend IRL to read....well, I finally have it back, and now, 5months later (embarrassed giggle) it is time to pass it on in the blog sphere.

I am not too sure if there is even anyone who reads my random rambling, uh, I mean blog who hasn't already read the book, as I believe it came down through the blog ranks through people like Lulu and Sara before Nay. But, I am gonna take a chance and see if anyone wants to be the next one to read LOSING KEI.

I am also going to add a special set of classic Nora (Roberts)

that I got from Gaijinwife many moons ago too.... I have only read two so far, but I promise that when I read more, I will pass them on too!


Rules of the game:

Pretty basic, if you are interested, then simply leave a comment on this post saying if you want to be in the running for A) "Losing Kei" and/or B) Nora.

I will send "Losing Kei" anywhere in the world, but I am restricting the Nora selection to within Japan, as I figure us lovely ladies here have more of a need for trashy English novels than people who can buy them at a whim in their own country (hehe).

Looking forward to hearing from y'all.

and the prize goes to Asshole B

We had to go out today to get new photos for K's passport, as the photos we submitted were too small (since they changed the size requirements in the time between we took them and applied for the passport *sigh*) so we headed out about 10am, managed to keep K entertained and in the stroller for the first leg of the trip (only 6mins by train) until we changed trains. We walked through the ticket gate, found what platform we had to go to and headed over to the elevator, where I pushed the button and took a step back to wait. I accidentally stepped back into a lady walking past me, so I turned around and apologized ("ah, sumimasen") then all of a sudden some old fart (Asshole B) pushes into me with crossed arms and yells at me to "doite-yo!", which I am going to translate as "get outta my way". Now, it may be a bit hard to explain in words what the situation was, but I was about 1m away from the elevator, which has a huge walkway about 20m wide one side , and a small pathway down the other side of it (probably about 3m wide) where people walk to get to the escalator to go to the platform. Asshole B was trying to get past me down the 3m side walkway. There was no one else around. I am sure he had enough room. And it wasn't like he was running to catch a train and I got in his way, he was sauntering over to the escalator. I felt wronged. My instinct made me yell out "Excuuuuuse me" then I changed to Japanese and said(loudly haha) "そこまで言わなくていいでしょ！" ("there is no need to go that far"). He was at the escalator when he turned around and the woman that I bumped into and apologized to was there with him (musta been his wife) and she was like asking him "what is all that about". I turned back and there was a young lady with a baby in a stroller waiting at the lift too. She asked me what happened and I explained. She was like "some people are really rude, I am sorry. I often get people give me dirty looks when I get on the train with my child".

Isn't it disgusting! Now, I know that not everyone is a child-lover. I FULLY understand it. I even admit that in the days BK, I would have gotten a bit antsy if I went into a restaurant etc and there were screaming kids running around etc. I never really knew how to treat other people's kids - you know when they stare at you on the train, like K does to people all the time, hah! But I would NEVER give them a filthy look or say something. C'mon, they are just kids. And HELLO we are on the train you know (or AT THE STATION in this case).....surely I am allowed to be there? I am not even sure if he was anti-kids now I think about it, he might have just been anti-me?!

So I really think that Asshole B "takes the cake".

But why is he Asshole B?? Well, this little incident follows hot on the heels of Monday morning's incident, where the main player was Asshole A. We were on our way to meet some friends, we had a long train ride, about 30mins or so. It wasn't peak time, and in fact the carriage I was in had about 1/4 empty seats. We sat down in the regular seat area, and K wanted to get out of the stroller, so I let her out and she sat on the seat beside me. There was plenty of room. Ok, my fault here, I should have moved over more to the right when K started stretching out (head on my lap, legs out to the left). A couple of times her feet (which only had socks on) kicked (softly, just when she was wriggling around)into the guy at the end of the seat on the left, a.k.a Asshole A. He must have got the shits with it, because all of a sudden, he grabbed his backpack, and slammed it down in between him and K, which happened to be exactly where her feet were. I was livid (again) and turned and said to him "C'mon man, she is just a kid" (ちょっと、やりすぎじゃないの？子供ですよ！）He has headphones on and didn't hear me, or pretended not to.

Again, I admit that I should have been more careful with watching K's feet, but I really think that was OTT. Or maybe I am too caught up in my own (and K's) world now so that I am seeing things skew-whiffed? Are they assholes or do I need to be more vigilant? I wasn't even gonna write about Asshole A, because his crap was totally wiped away by the lovely lady who offered to carry the stroller up the stairs, over the overpass and down the stairs to the other side at the train station we got off at where there is no lift or escalators because she saw me holding K's hand in one hand, and the stroller thrown over my back as we tried to get up the stairs.

Everyone seems to be just so oblivious to what is going on around them. Young guys "sleeping" in the priority section of the trains, baba-tariaons pushing past to get the broccoli that is on special ("hello, there are still about 100 bunches left, no need to rush, baba"), the idiots who insist on parking their bikes in front of the elevator entrance at our station, so that people with strollers, let alone people in wheelchairs can't get to the lift, etc etc. I know that I am oblivious to it all sometimes too, but I try to be socially conscious...hold doors open for people rather than slamming it in their face, let older ladies through first, etc because that is the way I was brought up. Ba-hum-bug for Japan, the country that is supposed to be so respectful. What happened? Is it only in Tokyo? I somehow doubt it......Can't wait to get outta this country for a bit. Only a month and 2 days to go!

where is pumpkin〓〓

I got some "trick-or-treats" (I guess that is what I can call them?) for Halloween from a friend. We don't do Halloween in Aus, so I never really get into it, but this year K has 2 parties at playgroup for Halloween - she is going as a black cat to both (one was on Sunday, next one is this Thursday) I am going as cat woman, minus the black leather body suit, of course.

Anyway, my friend came over with these american candies for Halloween, and they are DISGUSTING....

DISGUSTINGLY addictive, that is.
They are called "Candy Corn", and all I can equivalate them to is "Jersey Caramels" from home. They taste really plastic-y but my goodness, I still managed to gobble them up! There were even some Hershey's kisses in Candy Corn flavour, which were so sickning they were delish.

My face has even broken out, like a teenager!

"Confucius say....

......that toddler going through "a phase" and mummy with PMS do not make for good shopping partners"

*sigh*
We have had a long week. K is 18months old, and until now I have somehow managed to keep her entertained enough on trains/at restaurants etc with lots of little snacks, toys, raisins in a cup whatever to keep her attention and keep her sitting down in her stroller/on the seat for the duration. But this week, well, I think she has finally realised that now that she can walk properly, and mummy has been taking her for short walks to the park and the bread shop etc, that she wants to be doing this walking thing a lot more often. She wants to be doing it every time we leave the house. The ol' bribe of a snack or some milk to get her into the stroller is wearing thin too. On Tuesday we went to playgroup, the one that takes us about 45mins to 1hour to get to. It is the playgroup we used to go to before we moved here. We live about 4mins walk from the train station, but before the train even arrived, K was standing in her stoller wanting to get out. I managed to keep her in until we got on the train, but then she wanted to sit on the seat. Luckily the train was pretty empty, so we could sit in the priority seat, look out the window etc. But we still had to change trains along the way, and get on to a busy train (standing room only). So when we got to the station to change trains,I tried nicely (I swear) to get her to sit in her stroller. The banana bribe didn't work. The milk bribe didn't work. The carry strap didn't work. There were tears. There were screams. But we couldn't get on the train unless she was "contained", I only have 2 hands and trying to manuever her and a stroller on a packed train is not easy - she would only want to get down as soon as we were on the train too. These days she even hates being held. She somehow sat in the stroller, but then started to scream blue murder as we got on the train. The whole way. No consoling her. She finally gave up when some nice old lady took to her and started playing peek-a-boo or something.

After playgroup, the same issues, she didn't want to sit in the stroller. But by this time she was also super tired, and about to pass out asleep, so after a bit she sat in her stoller, and within 5 mins was sound asleep.

Then yesterday, we went to a closer playgroup. Only 13mins by 2 trains. BUT as soon as we got on the train she wanted to get out of her stroller. But we had to change trains in like a minute, so there really wasn't time to get her out, put shoes on, adjust the balance of bags hanging off the back of the stroller etc.... so there were tears. LOTS of them. And screams, PIERCING screams. When she gets like that, there is just nothing I can do to calm her down. (Of course, before the tears started, I pulled out all the snacks/toys/is there a doggy? tricks, to no avail).

So I end up frazzled and frizzled by the timke I get anywhere these days. I asked some other mummies for advice, but they all suggested the avert attention with toys/snacks method. What do I do when that doesn't work?? One mummy said it was just a phase...she will grow out of it, in about a year, lol...about the time she realises that sitting in the stroller is a lot easier!

This is not really meant to be a whining post - I know that she doesn't do these things to frustrate me (though somtimes...aaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhh) . A bit of an internet search last night ("how do I deal with my 18month old!?!?") and although there was no new techniques per say, the best advice I saw was that I can't keep on using the old method and expecting her to fit into it anymore. It is time for me to adapt to her current sitation and try to combat this, pre-empt any "attack" and get through this stage with as little frustration for both of us as possible. Big sigh.
I don't know how you mummies with 2 or 3 even get out of the house - supermums, all of you!I have sooooo much to learn.

aaaarrgh

having one of those days.
repeating mantra to self:breath deeply, don't sweat the small stuff...
yaddi-yaddah

giggling over bananas

was wondering why K was so quiet while I was writing that post, but put it down to her just being a good girl......

Just found her sitting on the couch, eating a banana.

I never gave her a banana.

I don't know where she got it from.

But she managed to peel it and is chomping away happily now.

My stomach hurts from laughing.

playdate and mummy's purse

I managed to get a teeeeny-tiny amount of housework done this morning before we were out the door on our way to a play date. K was packed up with salmon and tuna/mayo sushi rolls (one of each) that I whipped up with a pack of microwave rice (naughty mummy!?!?). Forgot to take anything for me (oops). So came home to make a bit of cheese on toast, only to find the cheese sorta mouldy (that white furry type, only on some of it)...ssssh, don't tell the fridge police (a.k.a. J) about that one.

So, back to this morning....a bit of a struggle trying to get K into the stroller to go to the train station, but I even left home 5mins earlier than needed to account for this! So we made the train, and arrived at our playdate on time. After some playing and some lunch, K was relatively easily bribed back into the stroller with a drink of milk (loves her milk, this one). She was getting sleepy, so I thought I would spend a bit of time looking at the shops, and maybe even get something different for dinner at the nice supermarket with some foreign stuff in it. I loaded up my basket with taglatelli and ravioli, Time-outs (which I was craving last night, but J came back from local 7-11 with a "crunky", which did the job, I admit, and some pumpkin kit-kats, for Halloween I guess - they even taste nicer than it sounds, too!) and a few other carefully thought out items and just as I put the basket down at the checkout and reached into my bag, I realised that I had forgotten my purse!!!! Nooooooooooooo! So I had to leave all my precious goodies at the checkout (I waved them goodbye, seriously!) and come home empty handed. Then when I scanned through the ticket gate at my train station, I saw that I had only 40yen left on my passmo!! And my keitai had died before I even got ON the train this morning. I wonder what would have happened if my passmo had run out before I got home? I had no money, and no keitai. Would we have ever gotten home????

So now I am gonna sit on the sofa for a bit and reflect on just how lucky I am to be back in my own house.....and chomp through a few pumpkin kit-kats, while dreaming of time-outs.

This is my first post from my computer for a while - after our busy week last week, I have hardly been on the computer to check (or reply to) e-mails, let alone blogs. And both J and I crashed early over the weekend.....actually, an afternoon nap would be nice too...shame K woke up as soon as we got home this afternoon.

girls nite in & peanut butter

k-chan & I had a lovely bubble bath tonight. I bought the bubbles (?!) at one of those "everything for 315yen" shops. It is supposed to last ten baths...but I had to use 3 times the amount to get any bubble action, hehe.But it was nice to have a bubble bath and K loved it!
As for the peanut butter, I was just getting a drink out of the fridge when the peanut butter took a kamikaze dive at me- landed on a bone in my hand and nearly broke it! ouch.

busy bee with insomnia?

we have had a big week, hardly been home- flittering around the place doing all sorts. the only time this week I was home for more than a few hours at a time, I ended up power napping with K. fell asleep putting K to bed last night too- only to wake up at 4am on a Sat morn! Cant get back to sleep for some reasom either. Just spent last half an hour playing a game on my mobile- at this time of day! Am shocked at self - what happened to the gal who could sleep through hours of mum, niece & nephew pounding on door to wake me up for uni? 

*sigh* another round of ぷよぷよ〜ん(mindless keitai game) I guess. am probably not gonna be a happy camper in the morning though(;_;)/~~~

mags

When J went to the US, I requested mags, like always, but this time I specified: mummy mags! He did well- Parents, Good Housekeeping, Family Circle, self, cooking mags...oh and a Marie Clare for good luck.So I brought the pile of mags down to the holiday house (we are here for the long weekend)and am gonna try not to move from the couch all day and read them. maybe even get some ideas for a Halloween costume for k, who has 2 parties to go to!

Have to admit I am enjoying them much better than vogue and the fashion mags he brought back last time - u just have to look at my "natural look" (no make up and tracksuit apparel) to realise that I am probably not trying to win any fashion contests.I am not even that interested in clothes shopping anymore- a few years ago i did make a concious decision not to just buy things, which started out because I was moving again and already have so much stuff! But now I am just not that into clothes shopping (actually even just going to the shopping malls wears me out and makes me cranky  -  too many people!) of course, not working means I dont need piles of clothes.

Anyway, I'm off as there are mags to be flicked thru.

in other news...

K is now an Aussie citizen. Well, actually she has been for more than a month. Apparently. Sheesh, she is only 1 year old and already I am losing touch with what is going on in her life (lol). So while I was waiting twiddling my thumbs for the embassy to contact me to tell me her citizenship certificate had come through, they were obviously thinking what a wierdo I was for not coming in to pick it up - it came back at the end of September, and the officer on my case supposedly contacted me to come and get it, but I didn't get any email that I can find. Oh well, it is all ok in the end. So I am going in on Wednesday to pick it up and apply for her Aussie passport now!

So J got back from Las Vegas with presents for K and me. K got a whole heap of clothes from Gap, a jacket, a cool burgandy tracksuit set, a gorgeous little purple cardie with just two buttons on the top. And I got a bag from Abecrombie and We don't have them in Aus, or here in Japan for that matter. So I puller out the first item, a cool hoodie with sheep skin type lining. The size looked about right, but then I checked the tag on the hoodie - it said "L".
Me: "Its really small for an L, isn't it?"
J: "Yeh, they were all like that. That is the fashion these days"
Me: "hmmm. How about these pants.....they fit, but I obviously can't go outside in them can I?" I say trying on a pair of yoga pants (even I wouldn't buy them for myself because I know they do nothing to flatter a big rump.)
J:"hehe, no, you can't go outside in them. I guess I should have bought the LL size"
Me: (starting to feel a bit deflated,finds the shop tag on the pants..) "J, these are L size alright, GIRLS LARGE!!!"
aaarrrgggh.
I don't know if I should be flattered that J thinks I am hip enough (and tiny enough) to fit into girls clothes (even though he bought them by mistake) or if he is secretly trying to tell me to lose weight to fit into them, lol!!
So anyway, what am I supposed to do with all the clothes?? A hoodie, yoga pants and a long sleeve top. There is no shop in Japan, but apparently they do ship here. Should I ring them and ask if I can send this stuff in to be excanged for GIRLS LL (which probably would fit, I hope, hard to judge the size) or wait until he might go back to USA to change them, or inlist a friend in the US to change them for me?? Shipping costs alone now will kill us. *sigh* what to do. You gotta laugh though, right?

found out there is no such thing as the good karma fairy. J ended up having to work last night, and tonight, so won't be home for dinner. So all my pre-made dinner from Mon night....I have been eating it breakfast lunch and dinner for the last 2 days to get rid of it.

I guess my housewife hat is still on but it seems to be tipping procariously to one side. I am still making a list every morning, but the list is getting shorter....haha! 頑張ります!

hang 10

So I am thinking that good karma comes the way of those who clean.

Yesterday afternoon I did a relatively big clean (for me) and then, instead of actually sitting on the couch with Nora for an hour, I grabbed a gossipy mag from home and flipped through that for 20 mins or so. It was enough of a break for me, and I thought, well J gets home from his week long business trip, and all I have ready is niku-jaga, so I should probably try to find something else to go with it, right!? So googled away and found something I could make with leftovers in the fridge (I know, I am SO on fire at the moment) so I made up one dish, and was just about to make another when I realised I was missing one ingredient, so put it aside to wait until K was awake to go to the shops. Anyway, J rings when he gets in to Narita, blah blah blah, he will be home about 6pm. So I start to vacuum coz K is now awake, and then I see there is a msg on my keitai from J - he suggest sushi-ro for dinner! God, he is SOOOOOO Japanese, hehe. One week in the US and he is craving his sushi. But we like it there, so I am like, cool, added bonus, if we go there tonight, then I have dinner already for TOMORROW night now too, which is good because today was playgroup, and I didn't have to worry about cooking up something when I got home AND to boot, the place looks nice and clean and tidy(ish) when I walk in the door!!! WOW. I wonder if this is the same awesome feeling surfers talk about when they catch the wave!! Hang ten, dude.

forging ahead on the cleaning front (maybe)

Well, despite my best intentions (honestly) to spend Sunday cleaning up, we (being me and K, because J is still o/s in Las Vegas, probably collecting his winnings as I.....)had to drive over to the PILs place to drop something off (only an hour each way, rolls eyes). They weren't supposed to be home, so I didn't even take anything for K, just strapped her into the carseat about the time of her a/noon nap and prayed that she would sleep on the way there and back. When I had done the business, I rang the PIL just to tell them I had dropped the stuff off, and mil said that they were nearly home - just 15mins away so I should wait because they had stuff to give K (some slippers they bought her coz she is going through her Imelda stage at the moment). So we waited, and rubber arm that I am, ended up staying for dinner. Didn't get home until 8pm, at which time K crashed after her big day of playing with "jiji" and "baba" (which she can now say!)
Since J gets home today, I wanted to at least get rid of some of the junk around (you know, throw it in the cupboard so he can't see it, lol) so I did a bit of a "martha on speed" last night. Ended up making some niku-jaga for tonight's dinner, ironing some shirts, folding AND PUTTING AWAY the washing (you go girl!) and that was about it, but it was enough to get the place looking ok again.
Today, I was supposed to go out for a play date, but it got cancelled due to rain, so, in my new improved state of being a good housewife, I DID NOT simply spend my time on the internet or the couch, but I got in to do the tasks that were left over on my to-do-list.
You know, it is amazing how many things you can find to do to clean around the house when you actually write them down. I would never think to just get up and clean the airconditioner filters before. But today, I sat down and thought of things that I could do, and it was one of them! Hmmm. I am sorta liking this list business.
I also took some time in the kitchen today, cleaned the grill (ガスコンロ), tidied the area above the sink, decluttered basically. It looks good! And writing it down, means that I know when I did it last, so I can schedule when to do it next time (I am a big fan of scheduling, oooh, and excel sheets.......now THAT might be an idea, or is that procrastinating again??)
Anyway, I am taking a break now, because all work and no play makes T a pissed off mummy, and that is not nice, so I am about to join Nora Roberts on the couch for some hot and steamy stories about people named Rainbow and Storme and Victor, most likely. Will probably just get into when K wakes from her nap (lol!)

falling out of the closet

Recently on some of the blogs I read, I have seen people "come out" with their vices - need to diet, bad with money, etc etc. Well, as embarassing as it is to admit this to absoluterly everyone (or no-one - I don't really believe that I have a fan-base like my hilarious gaijin wife friend....) but I am going to come out with it: I am a bad housewife. There, I said it. And the reason I know this, is because I looked up "how to be a good housewife" on google, and this is what I found. I fail on every count!! (haha)

But seriously, this last week I have come to really really realise that I am a crap SAHM. The mum part, I am fine with - not perfect, and not good sometimes even, but I am learning that as I go, and find no need to beat myself up over THAT part of it! It is the housewife bit that lets me down, terrible. I am a hopeless clutter-up-er-er. The area around the phone (that tiny area of about 10cm by 10cm) that I decluttered just a month ago has taken on a life of its own again. Not to mention the rest of the house. *sigh*. But more than just realise it, I am at the stage of being embarassed by it, and also dissapointed in myself for not being able to do the housewife job I am supposed to do. Now before I get bashed for living in the 1950s, and told that women and men are now equals, we don't have to slave over the kitchen stove 24/7 just to make our man happy, I have to say that it is NOT about him. It is about me!! I think that until now, when I was working in an office situation, I used to take pride in my work - always try to go the extra step, naturally finish projects in a timely manner and all that jazz. So why do I feel that I can let my "job" as a housewife slide, and procrastinate the day away with blogging/internet googling/just another 5 minutes on the couch....etc etc. I am ashamed that I have gotten to the point I am at. It also has nothing to do with K. I am not at all concerned about the mess of toys and clothes that she pulls out of her drawers and flings around the room. That is just to be expected, and I can deal with that - a quick 10mins of picking up after her is easy. No, it is just about me and MY clutter and cleaning.

In my defence, I will say that I think there is more to it than just being a good (great acutally!!) procrastinator (and a lazy one at that). I actually think I have issues with cleaning. Does it sound strange to say that I do not know HOW to declutter? That I can vacuum the whole house, but not *think* to dust down the window sills and skirting boards? I can wash and hang out the laundry, and even pull it in, but folding it and putting it away...geesh, I can't stand that part of it, so I usually just let the clothes hang there until there are no more pegs available for the next wash!! I realised that I am seriously cleaning-challenged. So I did what any cleaning-challenged housewife would do - a google search to find a way, a method to get me to become the housewife I WANT to be, and learn how to "keep my home"

I have known about FLYlady for a few years, even getting the daily email from her telling me to "go to bed" (haha). Actually, since we moved here in April, I have been pretty good at keeping a shiny sink, at least it is a start?!? But now I need to go that extra step - I want to know how to actually be a good housewife (not in the 1954 sense, but in the 2008 sense!!) I found some other sites too, The Queen of Kaos, and chore-buster which gave me some hints. But I also realised that I have to start this myself. And now is the time.
So I put a self-imposed ban on the computer from 9am-2pm for every day last week. Although I was itching to get to it to check emails 20 times a day, you know just in case someone had mailed... I basically managed to stay away from the computer for most of the week. It was refreshing actually!! I have also begun recording my day in 6min blocks, just like lawyers do (haha) well, not quite, but I started the first day by writing down things that I wanted to get done, then ticking them off (and writing the time) as I went. At the end of the day, I then saw what I had achieved (not much) and what I still needed to do, so I made up a to-do-list for the next day, and accomplished most of it!! I am going to try this "calorie-counter" style for a bit longer as I think having it in writing there in my face is a great way to see how much I am slacking off.

It probably doesn't sound like much, but I feel that I have started something. Although the house fell into disaster zone again after a chaotic day yesterday trying to get out of the house on time to meet a friend, I am going to take the rest of today (after of course R-chan's walk) to try to get some order back. Baby steps, right!?!

teary on the couch on a saturday night

I just finished reading "My Sister's Keeper", by Jodi Picoult.
And I am still blubbering.
At one stage I was reading through tears streaming down my face.
When I first started reading it, I was shocked, and almost appalled by the book. But I couldn't put it down. I want to recommend it, but I also don't, as it made me upset in lots of ways, and I don't want anyone else to get upset reading it too, But that is such a part of how compelling, heartbreaking and believable the book is that it can make me feel these things, right? I am glad I read it. I wonder if anyone else has read it and felt how strong it is?

My words are not making much sense. I would have failed English with Mrs Tierney for my book review. But hey, I still cry whenever I even think about the movie "Beaches" with Better Midler, and that song, "The wind beneath my wings" get me choked up every time too.

A bit of a weird post after being AWOL for almost 2 weeks, hey.
My AWOL had nothing to do with the book, FWIW, I "just wasn't that into it" - it being posting. But I think I have some things I want to write about again now, so I will post again tomorrow, I think.