Thanks, am feeling better

Spent the weekend eating brownies and easter eggs, and lazing around doing nothing. Absolutely nothing - no tears or crazy moments, just a bit of apathy towards everything. Everytime I went to grab another brownie, I saw J eyeing me off, but he was too smart to actually SAY anything, lol!!

We did get to go to the yakitori joint at the 商店街 at our station (about like, 3 mins walk away). Sunday nights are half price yakitori (although other kushi are full price, like 豚バラetc) so we still ended up paying about 2500yen each. When I was in Kyushu, it was ALWAYS 3500yen per person when we went out for yakitori or yakiniku, so wierd - no matter how much we ate or drank, it always turned out to be the same price...and we used to eat and drink a LOT. This time we didn't eat or drink ourselves stupid, as unfortunately, the yakitori was pretty average, and the chuhais pretty weak. But I still felt a bit tipsy after I had a beer and a lime chuhai at the yakitori place! So we stopped off at the conbini on the way home where a few more chuhais were bought (J: "are you gonna drink more?" Me: "yes, you got a problem with that?" J (silence) lol!!) and I came home and polished them off and felt all warm and fuzzy (and a bit soppy) for a few hours before bed.

After my weekend of slobbery and laziness, I decided that I was going to come back to the world of living on Monday, so woke up early(ish) and since it was a lovely warm day, opened all the windows to let the sun and breeze in and did some spring cleaning. I think it was just what I needed. I have been feeling ok actually this week, I think I made the decision to move forward and am doing ok with that. Had a brief moment today of the sorry-for-myself blues, but managed to snap myself out of it with a slice of cheese pizza. The aim is actually to lose some of the weight that I somehow managed to pile on in the last few weeks, although you would never know it with my current eating patterns.

I am thankful to everyone for their kind words and comments and recounts of own experiences - it is nice to know that you are thinking of us. I am glad that I wrote on my blog, I really feel that it was a step that has helped me to get through this.

I have also seen some good come out of the whole experience:

I had my first pap smear in about 2 years (since K's birth actually) on my first trip to the ob/gyn - it came back clear

I had a breast check, as I thought I felt a lump and had some pain in my left breast for a few weeks - it came back clear too, was most likely pregnancy related

I also brought up a lingering (minor) health worry that I had with the doctors and got tests run for that - am waiting for results which will probably come out next week. If I hadn't have been going through the pregnancy/misscariage, then I would never have gotten around to going to the doctors, especially for the pap smear or other test so I am thankful to our angel for being the 切っ掛け to get the tests done. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and maybe that was one of the reasons our angel was with us.