motivational self-talk

I thought I was on top of it this time, with L.

I FEEL a lot less stressed than when K was a baby, I have actually been making meals (albeit boring ones, but that also may be related to it being too hot to care) which is more than I ever did the first few months with K (thank you "sukiya" for your support") and the night time wakenings don't faze me. Or so I thought.

The last few weeks, really I have just felt down-right worn out. Sore muscles (possibly also related to the minimal amount of excercise?), serious lack in concentration, not wanting to go out (actually dreading the thought of leaving the house and getting everyone ready), total disregard for budget planning/reporting for the last 3 months, recent addiction to iced coffee....and trouble waking up in the morning.

Last night L woke up every 2 hours to nurse, all night. When things like this happen, I have FLASHBACKS to what it was like with K for her first year. I get scared it is starting again with L. Last night I think it stemmed from the fact that J was loud and woke L up when HE went to bed at about 11:30pm, just 2 hours after L went down for the night. He *has* been sleeping from about 9pm through to 2am, so I thought we had reached our nirvana...obviously not!!

So anyway, this morning I was "up" with L from about 6am. We came downstairs, I put him in his crib in the playroom, and I lay on the floor beside him for some more zzzzs (so much for my "get up at 5am and have a whole day of work done before the rest of the family gets up" stint several weeks ago, lol). I was still there when J went to work, and until K called out to me at 8:15am to say she was awake. L had been awake the whole time too.

Somehow managed to get us out of the house and to the Post Office by 9:30am, where we repayed a loan with money that had been sitting around the house for the last 3 months as I forgot about it. Now have an extra couple of "man" in interest we have to pull out from somewhere coz it was overdue. Doh. Luckily L fell asleep just as we arrived at the PO, so I thought I might try to get myself a pair of togs, in the hope that they might be on sale by now, and of course as soon as we got in the elevator at the shop, little L's eyes pop open and he stayed that way until just a few minutes ago when I put him down for his afternoon nap......lets just say it was fun, fun, fun trying on togs with a pre-schooler and a baby, lol. Did get an average pair though, which I might be able to use this weekend if we go away near the water somewhere.

I also think I have beeen kinda down for the last few weeks too - what with the sore body and severe lack of motivation...... I sort of feel like I got a kick start this week (something just clicked and I decided to do some stuff that I had been procrastinating for far too long and trying to stay focussed, positive and calm - not to much to ask for is it, lol) and even now I feel semi-motivated to get the housework and small tasks done. I hope this motivation sticks with me. Also gotta get the budget planning back on track before I send the household broke ;((

I think my new motto for the rest of the week should be: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can