Group B stress

(sigh)
Friday's checkup revealed I have GBS. Not only does it make me feel like a filthy whore (yes, I know it is common, and not a "disease", and present in something like 30% of women, but when you have to use the word "baikin" to describe it, well, it makes it sound so ugly) but now I am also freaking out over the possibilities of passing it on to TJ-baby during labour, and what problems that might mean for TJ-baby. The doc on Fri was the not-so-friendly one - as in he was cracking up at the nurse about why I had already had the test for GBS at 29weeks, when they usually do it at 30weeks or something (like come on!!) and telling HER (not me) that they can always just put me on an antibiotic drip for labour while I was lying on the bed half naked waiting for said nurse to wipe my belly after the ultrasound. It really didn't put me much at ease, and in fact in the doctors office, I really didn't understand what the problem was, except for the throwing around of the word "baikin", but I came home and looked over the latest test results shoved in my boshitecho, and that is when I realised it was GBS.

Got no sleep on Friday night after an internet search and several horror stories later....I guess *my* biggest fear at the moment is that my labour time with K was pretty quick, although I was in hospital from the night before after my waters broke, from the time contractions started until K was born was only about 6hours. And they say that the second baby is often faster even, right...what if there is not enough time for the antibiotic drip to work (I think it needs to be in for 4 hours before labour to have any affect in reducing GBS passover to baby)?? And there was also some stuff about GBS causing premature birth. K was 2weeks early, and while I know that it is not necessarily true that TJ-baby will be early simply because of that, I am still worried about it all. My parents get in April 10th. J leaves for Paris (business trip) April 11th (maybe 10th, still to be confirmed aarrgh!) and is gone for a week or so.

Add to all of this, my feelings of utter lack of preparedness (is that a word? it checks up on the spellchecker, lol) for the impending arrival - I have done ziltch: no baby clothes washed (they haven't even been pulled out of storage, gotta try to think where they where put in the move!) obviously no hospital bag packed (although I don't really need anything except my boshitecho as the clinic provides clothes and other stuff), just now typing this I realise I haven't a clue where the baby bath is either.....About the only thing I have done, is over the weekend while out I started looking at nappies at places, trying to suss out the cheapest place to buy them, but that is the extent of my preparations (didn't buy any nappies yet,lol)

I seriously think I feel more nervous this time around.
Less prepared.
More scared.

Maybe it is because I kinda KNOW what is gonna hit me (where as with K I had NO IDEA) and maybe it is because I am now starting to think how the hell am I gonna get through every day with a newborn to look after AND get ANYTHING else in the house done, including being able to be there for K, who is very self-sufficient, being able to play by herself a lot, but still, she has her demanding times too.

I hope it is just a case of performance anxiety.
Have set myself several tasks for this month to get ready, so hopefully that will alleviate my fears a bit once they are done.

To end on a positive note, I can't believe I am already 31weeks - this pregnancy is coming along fast, and I am excited about TJ-baby, while also dying to find out if it is a boy or girl....I have a feeling it is a girl, ttytt, not sure why. And TJ-baby continues to be more active than I remember K being, punching and kicking almost like an alarm clock every hour. TJ-baby also seems to like it when I read to K, and gets very active then (perhaps they think I am reading to them, lol!?)

Oh, and while not really a "positive" note, my cravings have changed yet again. I had umeboshi with rice a couple of nights ago, and it was SOOOOO average. Such a change from just a week ago when I was eating 3,4,5 umeboshi at a sitting, and loving it lol. Not sure what my cravings have changed into - maybe bread again? (The herb bread I made yesteday definately hit the spot!!) As always chocolate is on the list - oreos YUM!!! Now THAT is a positive note to finish on for sure!!!!!